For quite some time the Last Action Heroes have speculated that The Rock (Dwayne Johnson) was the savior of the action genre. His superb work and impressive list of credentials is second-to-none, separating him from action has-been Vin Diesel.
Things were looking good with the people's champion slated to star in at least a half-dozen action movies over the course of the next year … then something happened. MTV broke the story just days ago about The Rock considering a Disney film titled "Daddy's Girl." This devastating blow to action fans everywhere is impossible to ignore, so it's now up to the Last Action Heroes to examine the issue in-depth and try to piece together the remnants of a broken superstar.
Goat:
I was completely shocked when I first head that The Rock, the most electrifying man in action movies today, was pulling a "Twins" and losing any action credibility he might have. D-rock and I have often debated where the future of action lies, with the answer almost always coming back a resounding "there's always The Rock."
The man's filmography speaks for itself. After getting his action start in "The Mummy Returns," Rocky starred in its action-packed spin-off, "The Scorpion King." All while rocking a set of dreads that Bob Marley would be proud to call his own, The Rock took down countless foes with style. Perhaps the best kill to be found in the film occurs as he pulls an arrow an enemy shot out of his own body, only to throw it into the same guy who originally shot it — killing him.
He followed that up with "The Rundown," starring alongside Seann William Scott in a true action extravaganza. His propensity for both action and comedy was later repeated in "Walking Tall," as he kicked still more ass alongside Johnny Knoxville. His charismatic nature, in addition to his intimidating physique, seemed to be the formula for a legitimate action star. "Doom" was horrible, but his upcoming roles in "Ride Along," "Southland Tales" and "Gridiron Gang" (with Xzibit!) left fans with a sliver of hope for the future.
Now news breaks that he's likely slated to star as a smack-talking athlete who is forced to take care of a girl … and our world suddenly falls apart.
D-rock:
Should The Rock decide to follow in the footsteps of weakness, the footsteps that Vin Diesel took when he filmed "The Pacifier," the action genre will be left in a state of peril.
With the tagline, "Prepare for bottle," there was no way Diesel could ever expect to recover from this PG-rated movie that garnered two nominations at the Teen Choice Awards.
Yet for all the promise of a reign atop an action genre in need of a superhero, The Rock appears to be giving way to the likes of Disney and emotional plotlines. The Rock is foregoing a possible reign unmatched in the history of the world. Instead of unchallenged power and the ability to control an entire genre of movies, the Rock opted to film a movie with a lot of "heart" and one that is "truly inspirational." How weak is that? It's pathetic.
Now the action genre, on the brink of lacking a readily identifiable superstar, appears headed for more "Revenge of the Mummy" and "S.W.A.T." type action movies. While entertaining to some, they fail to adhere to the basic tenets of the action genre; they each have plots and lack legitimate one-liner action. In the days of JCVD and Seagal, you would have this dynamic duo of stars filming one action movie then hopping on a red-eye flight from Los Angeles to Miami to kick some Puerto Rican thugs on the set of another movie. It was non-stop action. Check their filmographies. No Disney. No Weakness.
Now, we have VD and The Rock kicking the crap out of Eastern Europeans in movies like "XXX" then dusting themselves off, getting a perm, clean shaving their face, spraying deodorant, applying makeup, buying pretty-boy clothes and doing movies with "heart" that are "truly inspiring." Where is the consistency? Van Damme did "Hard Target," "Timecop," and "Street Fighter" in succession — all timeless classics. Diesel on the other hand violated the action path by doing "The Chronicles of Riddick," "The Pacifier" and "Find Me Guilty" in succession.
Dammit Rock, don't do "Daddy's Girl."
Goat:
The plot of "Daddy's Girl" sounds outright ridiculous. The Rock, a real-life former defensive lineman for the Miami Hurricanes, would star as a popular quarterback who lives for two things: parties and panties. His womanizing ways are suddenly thrown out of whack when a five-year-old girl appears at his doorstep bearing a birth certificate that says he is her father. This might not sound so bad, but one thing needs to be taken into consideration — this is a Disney movie. Say goodbye to The Rock.
Gone will be the rebellious badass attitude. Gone will be the smack-talking behemoth. And, dare I say it, gone will be the eyebrow that has come to lead the hordes of action fans in such a dire time of need. The Rock is abandoning the very people who first made his acting career possible and instead catering to Disney — the same people who rely on Donald Duck and Goofy to bring home the bacon. Anyone who thinks Mickey Mouse could take Seagal or Van Damme in a fight is wrong — dead wrong.
In an interview with MTV news, Johnson spoke about the prospective film: "It's going to be a movie with Disney; it's got a lot of heart, a lot of everything in it, which I'm really excited about. It's moving, it's inspirational … and it's with the producers [Mark] Ciardi and [Gordon] Gray, who produced 'Miracle' and 'The Rookie.'"
The Rock may see this as the right career move for him, but it's clearly a step in the wrong direction for the talented actor. The last time anything remotely action-oriented came out of Disney, it involved Nicolas Cage … never a good sign. Until Rocky either (a) realizes the error in his ways and goes back to straight action or (b) again dons his trunks and enters the squared-circle, his action status will be in question — if you smell what I'm cookin'.
Drock:
Should the Rock crumble into action obscurity, the action genre will be left in limbo. Not since 1988, when Arnold Schwarzenegger filmed "Twins," has the action genre come under such serious attack. How could the action genre recover from "Twins" and the tagline "Only their mother can tell them apart"? It took the two greatest action icons of all-time. A formidable duo that continues to pump out action movies to this day. Two heroes who, in more than 20 years of service to TBS and Spike TV fans everywhere, have never strayed off the action path. A duo that the action genre will likely never see again — at least at the same time.
Diesel's 2005 film "The Pacifier" and its tagline "Prepare for Bottle" sent the action genre into serious trouble. Shaken and greatly weakened, the Rock appeared ready to take the torch to the gas chamber and ignite the genre under his feet, but if current news reports prove true, the action genre will be left in a state it has never experienced. Never before has the action genre been shaken to its knees without any obvious heir apparent. This might possibly be the death of the action genre as we know it. Even worse, this could be the stake in the coffin for the discount bin. Pamida stockholders must be nervous.
The threat of no legitimate action superstars guiding the action genre is a takeover of the genre by such individuals as Brendan Frasier, Matt Damon and Pierce Brosnan. This would most certainly cause the genre to blur the line between comedy, adventure and action. Should the Rock decide to film "Daddy's Girl" he would be subsidizing the acting career and securing work for Brendan Frasier for the rest of his life. Hollywood does not need the likes of the "Monkeybone" star.
Survival is at stake with the filming of "Daddy's Girl." For all of us, Rock, don't do it. Don't do it.
The Last Action Heroes want to hear from you!!! Are you sinking into a deep depression now that The Rock is pulling a "Twins"? Derek and Ryan are here to help. E-mail them at [email protected] if you need someone to talk with.