Dear Clare,

This past weekend, one of my buddies came up to visit and brought one of her roommates. I don't think I have ever met a more amazing person in my life. We flirted most of the day on Saturday, and we basically set our agenda for the night when she said, "we're going to hook up tonight." That night she went to go visit some of her friends and we planned on meeting up later. However, I ended up drinking way too much and passed out way too early in the night before she came back to my house where she and my friend were spending the night. She goes to a different school but is from a town only a few minutes away from my hometown. My question is, I fell head over heels for this girl, but how do I maintain contact with her without sounding like some creepy stalker (besides the obvious usage of excessive poking on Facebook)?

Halloween Mistake-Maker

Dear Maker (wow, that sounds super lame),

You need to call this girl IMMEDIATELY! Right now, before you even finish reading this column (don't worry, you can finish it later). I usually don't worry too much about my lovelies who write in, but you totally got me with the "most amazing girl I've ever met" line and I am very worried you may be too late! You are obviously not a shady dude, though your behavior inaccurately portrayed you to be one on Halloween, so you must act right now to remedy your image. This girl probably feels so stupid! My guess is that she assumed you "hooked up" with another scantily clad Halloween goer and therefore has written you off the map (I completely don't understand that cliché, but you know what I mean).

You left out an important piece of the story: did you see her at your house the next day? Or did she leave before you got to say goodbye and explain yourself?

I'm guessing it was the latter because that would warrant the more anxious tone underlying your letter, so I will continue from there. If you don't have her number, you can obviously get it from your friend who she came with. Now, when you call, say something like, "Sorry about Saturday, I totally passed out and didn't want you to think I forgot to call you because I was really looking forward to hanging out." Ending the sentence in this way shows that you are apologizing more because YOU wanted to hang out, not because you are assuming SHE really wanted to hang out and was disappointed. The apology and explanation should be short and sweet; no need to drag it out and explain yourself too much — that would just make you look pathetic. Though you think she's super-amazing and fantastic, only spending one-and-a-half days with her doesn't tell you much. For this reason, you don't want to apologize so much that the ball is totally in her court (a cliché I do understand). You also don't want to make the explanation the REASON for your call. "But Clare," I'm sure you are thinking, "that IS the reason for my call." Never fear, my friend, because the timing of this call, though late, is actually quite perfect. You can ask her out for Thanksgiving weekend! You didn't get to hang out with her Saturday night, so why not meet up when you're both at home? Because this weekend is packed with family obligations, asking her in advance would give you both a chance to plan some time to hang out.

I'm sure that she will be all about the date, because I can't imagine her being mad about you drinking too much too soon and falling asleep way too soon (in the future, by the way, don't do that). After you schedule the date, you need to be cautious of something: in the next couple weeks, try not to think about the date or the girl too much. When one meets another that he or she finds interesting, or "amazing" (that's just too cute), and then doesn't see that person for a while, one has the tendency to build the other up in his or her mind as the perfect human being that he or she very much may not be. Blinded by this mirage in your mind may get you dating this girl for a while only to suddenly realize in the fourth month of your courtship that she isn't who you had made her up to be.

When you talk to your friend that this girl came with, the same rules apply. Let her know that you feel like a moron and were really annoyed that you couldn't stay up, but don't get too into it. I wouldn't tell her you thought the friend was, "the most amazing person you've ever met." For all you know, your friend could have a crush on you and get annoyed with this comment and completely ruin it for you. You can say that you thought she was really cute and cool, though. That would be a nice thing for her to pass along.

One more word of caution: just call her this once, and then again the week of Thanksgiving to confirm. Don't start sending her cute text messages and poking her on the Facebook and AIMing her. This is necessary because you don't know if she is the type of girl who likes the chase and would therefore get annoyed or creeped out by you, or if she's the clingy type who would start naming your children after the second Facebook message. It's better to just remain mysterious for a bit.

Good luck, my friend! Let me know if it works out!

Clare