Dear Clare,

My roommate and best friend of four years is very liberal, even though he really doesn't know anything about political issues. I don't share his views, but try to stay pretty open-minded and informed. Whenever I try to debate with him about anything, he'll just say things like, "Well, Bush is dumb," or "Corporations are the devil." I know he only feels like this because his dad has told him to think like that. I don't want to ruin our friendship, but I can't take it anymore. How do I set him straight without hurting his feelings?

Politically Peeved

Dear Peeved,

How frustrating to have such a narrow-minded twit as a friend. I would say the best plan of attack here is to stop appeasing your bickering buddy and make him feel like the idiot he sounds like.

Political views aside, simple logic tells us we should have reasons to support our arguments. If one doesn't have the support to back up an argument, it becomes an assumption. An assumption that cannot be proven is pretty much useless, and this is exactly what your friend is doing (thank you LSAT preparation — if only you would have actually helped on the damn test, rather than on my advice column).

How I love political debates! It is, however, completely futile for you to try and debate with this dude if he doesn't know what he's talking about and isn't even willing to listen to your side. The easiest way to deal with him is to, oddly enough, use a skill you probably mastered at age five: just keep asking him, "Why?"

Him: "Bush is dumb." You: "Why?" Him: "Because he just, like is." You: "But WHY do you think that? I am interested in your view."

After a couple conversations like this, he will probably start doing a bit of homework and come up with an answer like, "Because he makes up words like 'strategery.'" This may sound like a valid argument, but it's actually completely unfounded: not all people who make up words are dumb, so your buddy cannot conclude that "Bush is dumb" because he makes up words. For example, J.R.R. Tolkien, author of "The Hobbit" (in case you have been living under a rock or a hobbit-hole in the Shire), made up enough words to create multiple elven languages. Though this is a bit odd, it is pretty impressive and shows a level of intellect and imagination that most of us will never possess. One could say that perhaps Mr. Bush is on his way to doing the same thing!

It is amazing the stupid things people get away with saying. Think of all the times you have listened to someone in your class and thought, "Boo to this dude talking. He has no idea what he's talking about." Why doesn't anyone point this out to him? Why do we just accept what people say at face value?

We don't point it out because we think that it would be considered rude, and here in the Midwest we live to sugarcoat and appease in order to avoid confrontation. There is nothing wrong with being nice, but I don't think we should let these people get away with thinking they're so intelligent when the rest of us know they're not.

You can reconcile the need to be nice with the obligation to put your friend in his place using naivety (naivety is NOT a made-up word by the way). Don't challenge his views, just act very interested and curious about why he feels the way he does by using "WHY?" He will hopefully realize that he actually has no idea why he thinks the way he does, and will either go find more information to create his own opinions or just shut up.

Good luck, my friend,

Clare

Dear Clare,

I've been casually seeing this girl for a couple weeks. We get along and have a good time, but I don't want to make a full commitment because I'm not head-over-heels for her yet. The other day I glanced at her profile and under "Relationship Status" it said, "In a relationship." I am the only guy she's been seeing so I know she's referring to me. I was surprised and annoyed because we haven't talked about how serious we are. How do I bring this up with her?

Facebook Freak

Dear Freak,

Oh how new technological developments come to complicate human relationships. Though the Facebook isn't really a technological development per se, it is a phenomenon that has no doubt been the culprit of dating problems among college students.

I absolutely am no dating expert, but observation has taught me one important lesson about dating: girls fall faster, but boys fall harder. Think about it … read it again … reflect … got it? I know! I'm totally right.

With this in mind, you have two things to consider: you can either let her know how you feel or you can wait it out for a little bit to see if you end up really liking her because falling harder takes a little longer. The latter could be considered "leading her on," but because girls fall faster, she will also get over you faster.

I'm not saying this is the case with all relationships, but for short flings I definitely think this is valid. Because you've been only "seeing" each other for a little while, if you broke it off now, she'd probably be bummed for a day and then find one or 20 crushes in her 500-person lecture the next day. If you keep this chill for a little while longer, you may end up falling "head-over-heels" yourself.

I would advise you to tell her that you saw it on her profile and just wanted to discuss it with her. She may actually have a valid explanation; like wanting to annoy an ex-boyfriend, or her roommate did it without her knowledge. Though these would probably be lies to save face, she would get the hint to change it back.

In the discussion with her, be as honest as possible, but DON'T say you aren't "head-over-heels" for her, because that would just be mean. Tell her you want to keep things chill because you're just a little too busy right now to have any obligations. Keep in mind though that if you bring this up, she could break things off — so think about what you want to do.

If you decide you want to get rid of her, you could also pull a totally mean move using the same little tactic she used to try to pin you down: you could change YOUR status to "open relationship" or "in a relationship with [insert name of prettiest friend who goes to different school]."

Did I just advise playing Facebook games? Shoot. Well I admit this isn't GOOD advice, but it would be somewhat entertaining to see how she responds to it, because I promise she's probably checking your profile a million times a day.

Be aware that you will have to explain to her why you had previously checked her profile and looked at relationship status. Though it was probably just boredom or curiosity, you need to think of a valid reason, like you wanted to check her birthday to make sure she was legal, or something. An explanation is necessary because when she goes home and tells her roommates about your inquiry, they will probably overanalyze and tell her that the fact you looked at her profile proves that you are in love with her and missed her so much that day that you had to go look at her picture and read all about her.

Good luck, my friend, and hurrah for the increased stalker capacity with the use of tagged photos on the Facebook,

Clare