Today, the Last Action Heroes will delve into new territory by examining Jet Li's "Unleashed." The martial arts subcategory is something we have neglected in our three semesters of coverage, but our duty to the fans requires us to inform you all of the many different aspects of the action genre. Having heard past accolades of martial arts films like "God I love it when he dislocates that guy's two shoulders … that's awesome!" and "Oh man, that's a f-cking sweet movie!" we felt there was no way we could go wrong. We were right.
Drock:
Jet Li is as close as you can get to an international action hero. After Jackie Chan, he is easily the biggest Asian movie star (and no, Lucy Liu is not bigger than Jet Li).
In terms of raw action, Jet Li leads the way for current Asian action heroes. Chan and Li would have been evenly matched opponents when each was in his prime, but Li currently leads the way, on account of his youth. Chan proves versatile alongside the weak Chris Tucker, but how can one argue with Jet Li's 30-plus beatdowns in less than two minutes? In fact, Jet's history is eerily similar to that of another action great — excuse me, action legend.
Jet Li might very well be the Asian Jean-Claude Van Damme — or it could be the other way around with Van Damme putting the Asian back in Caucasian — you get the point. The two have similar personal histories from youth and both continued to refine their martial arts abilities on the international stage as they grew older.
Van Damme was a European Karate Champion in 1979 and packs the force to deliver a kick to an opponent's head while doing a 360 through the air. He also possesses the ability to ride a motorcycle hands-free and standing up for several city blocks, all the while firing off shotgun blasts into an approaching vehicle. The man is talented.
Jet Li, on the other hand, simply kicks ass in amazing ways. His speed is unmatched. In "Unleashed," he runs up to a man, jumps, locks his knees around the guy's shoulders and sits there punching him in the face until the guy passes out. From that position, he does a back flip onto another villain who meets a similar fate.
As a young man, Jet was a martial arts phenom. He won five gold medals in the Chinese National Championships, his first at age 11, and was a national coach in his teens. Now, Van Damme opened his first gym when he was a teenager and Jet Li is out coaching China's best martial artists. The similarities are amazing.
Goat:
Yes, Drock, Jet Li truly has a storied past of incredible action. With each film furthering his status as a legitimate action star, Li is truly on the rise. "Unleashed" presents the Asian sensation as a trained attack dog for a man who can only be described as a British Boss Hogg. Bob Hoskins (of "Super Mario Bros." fame) serves as Li's mentor/owner in the film, constantly berating the professional brawler.
After an intense scene featuring 32 beatdowns in a mere 12 minutes (that's almost three beatdowns per minute), Li goes back to his cage so viewers can get a better idea of his character. He dominates a can of beefarino, beats a hole in a punching bag, showcases a peculiar fascination with his teddy bear and reads a rather prophetic alphabet book — that eerily alludes to almost every aspect of his life.
After a snaggle-toothed British man sees Li beat down hordes of guys in a jewelry store, he invites Brit Hogg to enter Li in an underground fighting club — to the death, of course. Li is tossed into a concrete pit with a mohawked madman, then proceeds to kill him in about two seconds flat with a mere three punches.
Following some wacky mishaps, Li is liberated from his owner and left to fend for himself in the real world. Enter Morgan Freeman as a Ray Charles-esque piano tuner who takes Li back to his home for some TLC.
And this begins the great action letdown that is the middle section of "Unleashed." It isn't until almost 45 minutes later that fans are treated to more of the incredible action showcased in the beginning section — something truly unacceptable in an action movie. I do give "Unleashed" major props for having one of the more touching plots in any action movie I've seen for some time, as that's a tough thing to do in this genre. Viewers really sympathize with Li's character, and by the time the action returns later in the film it feels legitimized because of all of the shit Li has gone through.
Drock:
I found "Unleashed" to be a very touching movie. The tone and underlying themes were comparable to "Rambo: First Blood" and "The Jackal." You see, Jet is a man who has been deprived of life and learning since he was five years old. After meeting a Morgan Freeman that looks like Ray Charles out of the Diet Coke commercials, Jet begins to discover what life has to offer.
He discovers a passion for the piano that was indelibly linked to the last moments he spent with his mother before she was shot to death by a band of British villains. After listening to the piano for weeks on end, Jet has flashbacks to what happened with his mother. The flashbacks set in motion a series of events that would ultimately allow Jet to break free of the villain who looks strangely similar to the infamous Penguin in "Batman" movies.
Goat:
I really enjoyed Li's experiences with Poppa Freeman and his 18-year-old daughter — though I did find it a bit disturbing that she couldn't stop trying to seduce Li. On a similar note, it was a bit disturbing watching Freeman tuning pianos, mostly because he insisted on talking dirty to every piano his hands touched. Then there's the scene that features Morgan Freeman slowly stroking sausages and telling Li how much he loves food — I'll leave it at that.
During his time with the Swiss Family Freeman, Li buys novelty hats, learns how to listen to vegetables and realizes one of life's great revelations — ice cream is sweet. Things come to an end as Brit Hogg comes back into his life along with a veritable horde of nameless thugs just aching to be beat down.
Li comes back full-force, setting what truly must be an action beatdown record. He manages to beat down 33 people in a mere 75 seconds; completely dominating all of the forces that Hogg can muster. After an intense fight between Li and an unnamed man dressed all in white, fans see yet another instance of the fabled "blood nipples" that have been ubiquitous in the last few action films we've watched. Li goes Tyson on the man in white, biting and tearing off his nipple before kicking him out of a window.
Drock:
"Unleashed" is similar to "Rambo: First Blood" because both movies are about individuals who don't fit into society for various reasons. Rambo is simply an unappreciated Vietnam vet with a short temper, dangerous flashbacks and a chip on his shoulder. In "Unleashed," Jet cannot function in society without the help of Diet Coke man Morgan Freeman because he has been deprived of interactions with society. Everything is foreign to him. He is probably over 40 in the movie and experiences ice cream for the first time. Unlike Rambo, one could fall in love with Jet's character in this movie.
In "The Jackal," Richard Gere's wife betrays him when she runs off with some Latin Lovefest for a couple of months. Gere is distraught and crushed by this revelation and eventually crushes the skull of the Latin lover. This threatens to destroy the marriage — as if the affair wasn't enough. However, the movie is as much a psychological thriller as it is a drama. The same can be said for "Unleashed." While the movie is definitely a martial arts action movie, the subplot of the deprived Jet Li plays with the viewer's mind and offers an insight into how great the simple things in life can be.
Finally, a movie worth of being placed in the "movies with plots" section at Best Buy. I award "Unleashed" three Van Dammes and a bonus Charlie Montgomery for looking like this movie's villain Bob Hoskins.
Goat:
While I loved almost every minute of "Unleashed," it still has its shortcomings. For one, Li only kills two people throughout the entire movie, one instance of which was entirely unintentional. This would normally be enough to downgrade a film to the lowly ranks of "Full Clip" and "Submerged," but Li clocks in an astronomical 94 physical and four emotional beatdowns over the course of the film.
My other major gripe with "Unleashed" comes in the form of Brit Hogg's right-hand man. This guy refers to Li as "bitch" and slaps him around for the entirety of the film, even stealing the novelty hats Li buys for his family. After seeing countless action movies, it was almost a given that this guy would eventually get one of the most brutal beatdowns of the film. For reasons I can't begin to comprehend, Li never lays a hand on the guy and he escapes from the film without any resolution — simply unacceptable.
When a man can eclipse all of "The Warriors" in his beatdown count, it's clear that a film is an instant classic. I give "Unleashed" a high rating of three Chuck Norrises, but unfortunately have to add one Xzibit because of lack of justice visited on the guy who was clearly the most annoying henchman.
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