How I miss the days of enjoying Kylie Minogue’s “Can’t Get You Out of My Head.” Each and every year, students spend a week listening continuously to THE song of spring break. That one song you change the radio station to avoid hearing suddenly becomes the anthem of your liberation.
My mere mention of Minogue will not only leave the song spinning around in your head all day but will also make you instantly remember just what happened in Vegas — that stayed in Vegas — during spring break of 2002.
Like it or not, such songs become intoxicating. They make momentary mainstream-pop fans out of the underground-indie kids. They create dancers out of those who should not be on the floor and produce rock stars from the musically challenged. Wait, excuse me. That is the liquid influence, not the auditory.
Madison students are known for two outstanding abilities: drinking and academia. As I see it, there is little reason why the two should not coexist, even during the educational escape of spring break. In lieu of partying with Ciara on the airwaves or 50 Cent coming through the speakers, why not spend your break with some quality drinking songs? Not background party soundtracks. Not sing-along road-tripping tunes. Sounds inspired by and sung for the friendly bottle.
Since many plan to reduce the mid-semester edge by throwing back a few, I would like to make explicit two essential responsibilities, the neglect of which are inexcusable. Firstly — read this as an after-school special and berate me as you wish — be smart. I could just as easily fill these lines with warnings from songs mourning effects of alcoholism and the downfall from drugs. Partying does not equate to disregarding the well-being of yourself or others.
Secondly, if you take your festive activities as seriously as national rumors claim, you need to be in the company of the appropriate tracks.
That is not “Tequila,” even if you find yourself with a lime and salt or in the land of José Cuervo. Certainly, the Champs’ spontaneous B-side recording has sufficiently served its purpose since 1958. However, we can infuse some cross-cultural studies into our celebrating.
On the heels of St. Patrick’s Day, look to the Irish community. As models of drinking behavior, who better epitomizes drinking music? The Northern Ireland immigrants of The Irish Rovers reinforce this assertion with “Seven Drunken Nights,” “Wasn’t That a Party” and “Whiskey on a Sunday,” among others.
Need more of a kick from the sounds in addition to the lyrics? Ireland’s the Pogues were one of the most revolutionary bands of the 1980s, mixing traditional and punk styles. Listening to “Streams of Whiskey” or “Sally MacLennane” clearly explains why.
As we shift from social sciences to humanities, finish the Guinness before opening the Yuengling. American history proves able to boast a good number of tunes supporting spirits. Start with our own “Star Spangled Banner.” Francis Key Scott based his composition on the melody of an English drinking song. The lyrics for this are rooted in the ancient Greek poem “To Anacreon.” Replace the chorus with “And besides I’ll instruct you / Like me, to intertwine / the Myrtle of Venus / with Bacchus’ Vine.” You will be shining in no time.
Neil Diamond’s “Cracklin’ Rose,” better in its Phish format, weaves in a little Native-American mythology. This is a prime tune for the spring-break guy who just cannot seem to find his spring-break fling. As rumor goes, this particular tribe had more men than women. Those single fellows bought bottles of red wine, called Cracklin’ Rose, to serve the role of a companion.
Progressing toward modern history, the Ramones were one of the first punk-rock bands and undeniably influential in defining our current music culture. Legends of their lifestyle profess their principles as easily as “Somebody Put Something in My Drink.” Who could resist joining Joey in the lines of “Kick the jukebox / slam the floor / drink, drink, drink / drink some more?”
Today, the country genre serves to define the American drinking song. Rap and hip-hop may boast of the living, but they offer no competition for tracks as essential as the bottle in hand. Titles such as “Pop a Top,” “Two Pina Coladas,” “Friends in Low Places” and “Five O’Clock Somewhere” present a small sample of an immense collection of similarly themed songs. Musicians like Garth Brooks and Alan Jackson made careers from such subjects.
As a rule of thumb, the longer the title of the song, the more appropriate for our purposes. Cases in point: Hank Williams Jr.’s “All My Rowdy Friends are Coming Over Tonight” or George Jones’ “Beer Run (B Double E Are You In?).” One can even do a little local cultural learning through such an endeavor as finding the song to parallel the activity. Although lacking the lengthy title indicative of the classic drunken country number, Madison’s Spitoon creator Eli “Sleaze” Quinn makes his theme similarly salient. The debut EP The Drunkard’s Handbook contains such numbers as “I’m on a Jag” and “Benders.” Questioning Quinn’s message? I thought not.
The greatest aspect of the drinking song is ultimately its humor. Anyone can slur “drink” at varying pitches and speeds. We have all heard it. Indeed, many of us have sung such musical mishaps. It takes talent to pen the lines, “And Mary McGregor / She was a pretty whore / she’d always greet you with a smile / and never lock her door / but on the day she died / all the men did weep / for Mary McGregor finally got some sleep.” Drinking songs are to the ear what the ethanol is to the cortex. Whether slurping some Captain or just sipping the Coke, they simply make you happy.
This spring break, do your best to avoid the Minogues. As you are likely to participate in some new activities, take advantage of some ‘new-to-you’ tunes. Making a soundtrack to go along with the temporary freedom from obligations can help with the liberation process. With tunes aplenty, the question is less what to listen to and more what to drink with.
Christine is a junior majoring in English literature. She apologizes for getting the songworm of Minogue in your head. You can reach her at [email protected].
