After last year’s blood-soaked horror fest, which yielded some great films (“Cabin Fever,” “Identity”), a few gems for the die-hards (the goofy gore orgies of “Final Destination 2,” “Freddy Vs. Jason”) and some utterly un-watchable schlock (“House of the Dead”), horror and thriller fans should have seen the eventual slump coming around in 2004.

The suck-fest begins with “Exorcist: The Beginning,” a film plagued by so many problems that director Renny Harlin (who is at his best directing fun action flicks like “The Long Kiss Goodnight” and “Deep Blue Sea”) resorts to the cheapest sort of scare tactics and tactless shock to try and con audiences into feeling spooked.

The film revolves around Father Lancaster Merrin a few decades before he ever met the possessed Regan MacNeil (which is the plot of 1973’s “The Exorcist,” an undeniably powerful horror film). Merrin travels to Kenya to investigate a newly discovered church, which seems to have been built hundreds of years before Christianity was even invented. And while this severely creepy underground church guarantees some easy scares, Harlin continually drops pointless sound bites, amped up to eardrum-bursting volumes amid a fluster of quick cutting in a last-ditch attempt to incite some artificial scares. So much so that the sound of a shovel getting picked up by a character becomes a jump-out-of-your-seat moment, while slow-brewing fright sequences and most notably the film’s possessed person finale trot along like the entirely limp duds that they are. There is even one laughable scene in which dead butterflies start to flap their wings.

It would be hard to think up anything less scary. But this still isn’t as ruthlessly lame as Harlin’s attempts at all-out shock. Graphic depictions of children being shot in the head or getting torn apart by a frenzy of hyenas are tastelessly spewed across the thin plotline. More so, “Exorcist: The Beginning” can also boast of some of the worst CGI effects of the year.

And while the cast has obviously not been given much to work with, most performances seem uninterested and flaccid. The situation is similar to Johnny Depp’s nap-crazed protagonist in the lackluster “Secret Window,” but this “Exorcist” new class can’t top Depp’s performance (it’s hard to make a nearly-narcoleptic, frustrated wind bag seem interesting, but Depp proved it wasn’t an impossible task). Stellan Skarsgard (“Dogville”) as Father Merrin seems out of place, and hardly the same character that Max von Sydow immortalized in the original. Izabella Scorupco (“Reign of Fire”) plays a nurse that aids Merrin in Kenya, but anytime the camera hovers on her for more than a few lines it’s hard not to succumb to boredom. And James D’Arcy (“Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World”) could’ve done something decent with his slim part if he was given the opportunity, but character development took a distant back seat to loud noises and juvenile frights.

Hopefully, the intriguing fact that two versions of this film exist (the first, directed by Paul Schrader [“Affliction”] was deemed not scary or gory enough, he was fired and the film was re-shot almost entirely with Harlin) will make for a killer DVD release. It would be a great way to study what role Auteur Theory actually plays in today’s Hollywood.

A step up from “Exorcist: The Beginning” is last week’s “Anacondas: The Hunt For the Blood Orchid,” if only because “Anacondas” seems well aware of it’s limited budget and enjoys reveling in it’s B-movie heritage. But that still doesn’t make the movie worth eight bucks.

The plot is basically rushed past within the first minute and a half of the film, during a lightning quick board meeting with some experimental pharmaceutical scientists, or something like that. “Anacondas” isn’t big on specifics, or adhering to reality. And faster than it takes to ask yourself why you just decided to see the sequel to “Anaconda” instead of something with a little more class (like “Alien Vs Predator” obviously), some slightly-ethnic guy is getting bitten in half by something that resembles an anorexic T-rex on speed. Now granted the film does hide it’s CG flaws with some clever tricks (the scenes where the snake is just below the surface of the shallow water are a nice thrill), but it would be tough to have made the snake any less snake-like.

The cast of no-names (apart from somewhat famous Morris Chestnut, who’s good guy character gets sabotaged in a way that manages to rip off the original film) drowns themselves in disinterested panic and southern accents that mysteriously fade away as the film progresses.

The scientists, along with a couple of local guides and one very determined (and horribly annoying) J-Lo wannabe, embark on a trip through the Borneo rainforest in search of the Blood Orchid, a flower that can expand the life of cells and in turn extend a person’s lifespan. But as the group nears its goal, it becomes evident that a whole bunch of anacondas have already figured out this secret and are growing huge as a result. Overall, a much better film than “Octopus 2” but there aren’t any points that can quite beat the moment in this film’s predecessor when the anaconda vomits up a partially digested Jon Voight who squeezes out one quick wink before dying. Cinema magic at it’s best.

While it’s not hard to top these two ill-fated sequels, “Open Water” manages to drown out its competition without much effort. And while the video quality and hype surrounding this film may remind people of “The Blair Witch Project,” “Open Water” stands on its own as a sturdy, well-imagined film very much distanced from the underwhelming mess of “Blair Witch.”

Director Chris Kentis’ second film pits two lone vacationers against the dark uncertain depths of the ocean. Susan (Blanchard Ryan) a workaholic and her beau Daniel (Daniel Travis) take a trip to relieve themselves of their everyday stresses. But when a few mistakes by the crew that takes them diving leaves the couple stranded in the middle of the ocean, Susan and Daniel have a whole lot more than work related stress fests to deal with.

In sharp contrast to the overbearing scare tactics of “Exorcist: The Beginning,” “Open Water” builds suspense slowly and surely as opposed to click-bang straight up shock attack. The movie’s quietest shots are usually the most hard-hitting and a mid-film, late night lightning storm provides a unique use of low budget circumstances to create some very real chills. It never seems like too much, as opposed to the two sequels’ overriding overkill theme.

While “Open Water” may not exert much depth with regards to storyline, the fantastic filming and all-too-real sense of danger (the budget could not afford special effects-or insurance for that matter- so the actors went into the water alone as the crew poured chum around them to attract sharks) shine through and will leave audiences exhausted and thrilled; a result that “Exorcist: The Beginning” and “Anacondas” could never hope to achieve.

Grades:

Exorcist: The Beginning: F

Anacondas: The Hunt for the Blood Orchid: D

Open Water: B