What does it take to be a baller? If you ask LeBron James, it’s a Hummer H2 purchased on a Jumbo Loan, some expensive throwback threads and pay-per-view games promoted like a Don King-sponsored boxing match in Guadalajara.

The truth is that it takes almost otherworldly skills as compared to the average wannabe baller at the SERF who rocks knee-high black socks and big shoes like an old man out for a stroll in the trenches of summer.

You may not be able to drop 50-plus G’s on an H2 or floss with Jack Nicholson after a Lakers game, but don’t despair — you can still be a virtual superstar for 1/1000 the cost of the Titanic of automobiles.

EA Sports’ “NCAA March Madness 2003” and “NBA Live 2003” give you all the authentic details of real life b-ball minus the glitzy perks of being a coordinated 7-footer. You may never know what it’s like to please a sell-out crowd or drive a car better than a Camry, but you can still bring the digital crowd in both of these games to its feet with your displays of unparalleled coordination.

“NCAA March Madness 2003”

With March Madness right around the corner, NCAA basketball fever is in full swing. Many are preparing to donate their $10 to the office pool run by the overly enthusiastic, yet decidedly out-of-shape, roundball fanatic who spent suspiciously too much time crafting his 3-D brackets.

Many are also formulating their inconceivable excuses for why they won’t be able to attend class or work while they watch games in their pajamas from 11 a.m. to 11 p.m. Less work gets done in this country on the first two days of the NCAA tournament than at a Taco Bell in Waukesha after midnight.

What “NCAA March Madness 2003” brings to the table is the most realistic depiction of college basketball ever advanced by a game console.

What the college game lacks in flash and undeniable star power it more than makes up for in energy and heart. The crowds in “March Madness 2003” are as enthused as chocoholics on a trip to Hershey, PA and almost seem ready to spill onto the floor at any moment.

The game has a fantastic dynasty mode that EA Sports has perfected with a slew of its most popular football games that allows you to build your own top-rate team. You can recruit high-school players, work your way into the EA Sports Top 25 and eventually take your shot at making it through the big dance on your way to the national championship game.

EA has also included its usual collection of school-specific details that make the game so marketable, including team chants and fight songs as well as mascots and authentic courts that look just like you’re playing at the Kohl Center or any rival school.

Brad Nessler and Dick Vitale give the play-by-play and add a professionalism and excitement to what is already an engaging game.

The players’ movements are fluid and lifelike. You can work on your crossovers and rainbows or your defensive prowess. Like some other recent releases, “NCAA March Madness” makes use of the analog sticks on the Playstation 2 control for a greater range of motions and control that increase the playability of the title.

“March Madness 2003” delivers with the same quality and attention to detail that have made EA Sports the standard by which all others are judged.

“NBA Live 2003”

While the professional complement to the NCAA game may be more refined and, well, professional, it still includes all of the flash and excitement that have made the NBA one of the most exciting sports leagues on the planet.

While you can’t interview Shaq about his racist taunts of Yao Ming or ask the Lakers superstar why he shoots free throws like a girl, you can play as your favorite team and try and make your way to the NBA Finals.

Both of the new basketball titles are challenging. As the technology progresses, the players get smarter and the contests more difficult. You’re not going to walk into “NBA Live 2003” and dominate right off the opening tip. This reviewer faced early losses of 20, 30 and, yes, even 40 points before he got his act together and lost by a respectable 15.

The play call in “NBA Live” is enhanced by the inclusion of all the superstars and their names, a feature absent from the NCAA version because of player restrictions. “NBA Live 2003” also uses the analog control for a more lifelike game situation and reduction of the jagged moves that once limited movements on old game systems.

Players have the option of calling quick plays like a pick and roll, 3-point setup or a variety of defensive fronts. One-button rebounding also allows players to own the glass like never before.

If you prefer music to play-calling, you can pop in the free CD included with “NBA Live” that includes tracks by the likes of Snoop “Fo Shizzle” Dogg and Busta “Mountain Dew” Rhymes with the Flipmode Squad.

Players also have the opportunity to take their game online against players from across the country — if they have the proper sold-separately hookups. The computer is enough of a challenge that you don’t need to take the game online, but if you have the hookups, then go for it.

“NBA Live 2003” offers a similar yet distinctly different complement to “NCAA March Madness 2003.” So if you get tired of the college hardwood in March, you can pop in “NBA Live 2003” come playoff time and not miss a step.