Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

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Micky’s rules for relationships

Fellas, listen up. Micky here, you know, from “The Mind of the Married Man.” Now, I may not be as chic as Carrie Bradshaw, but at least I’m not an annoying, chain-smoking twig who supposedly lives a 10-grand-a-month lifestyle on the strength of a brief column. Carrie and her 30-something cohorts will tell you all about what it takes to be “fabulous,” but I’ll tell you what it takes to stay in the good graces of your lady friend and how to make sure that she doesn’t end up turning into a Fendi-toting, gold digging relationship-phobe. My tip for this week is to not get caught looking at all the pretty girls up and down State Street. Just employ my three-second rule. As long as you look away from that eye candy within three seconds, then you’re certain to avoid conflict with your significant other. It’s like having your buffalo wings and eating them too! The last time I got caught looking, Donna had me on the hot plate for about a month. Now that I’ve got a new system, it’s smooth sailing. I’ll be back next week with more thoughtful advice, even though I didn’t even make enough from this column to buy a Cosmopolitan, not that I would anyway.

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