Men's figure skating has long been a test of physical endurance, graceful artistry and the ability to proudly sport sequins and spandex. Though there is nothing smooth about Will Ferrell's moves, and his skin-tight unitard only highlights his athletic ability to eat a biscuit in a single bite, he and ice partner Jon Heder easily put Brian Boitano to shame in sport-comedy "Blades of Glory." Much in the fashion of Ricky Bobby in NASCAR romp "Talladega Nights," the actor vividly brings to life the stereotypes of an athletic genre. Sure, he takes some easy shots at figure skating faux pas, but the actor truly succeeds in adding an interesting flair to his character. Although "Blades of Glory" fades slightly in the final stretch, a hilarious cast of comedic actors and a handful of figure skating's finest help make Ferrell's latest endeavor — albeit ridiculous — worthy of a side-splitting laugh or seven. The film triple-toe loops into motion as bitter skating rivals Chazz Michael Michaels (Ferrell) and Jimmy MacElroy (Heder) do battle on the ice. The athletes mix like Mozart and Colt .45. MacElroy is a graceful peacock, dazzling the audience with his clean lines, elegant motion and of course, a lovely feathered tail, while Michaels brings the pain REO Speedwagon-style in some form-fitting leather pants and a matching vest to show off his manly physique. Women love him, and men want to be him as he licks his female fans and collects more bras than a Victoria's Secret sale bin. Although their styles are beyond simple comparison, the men end up in a tie and have to share a step on the winner's podium, leading to a war of wits and then fists, which eventually culminates in a mascot being lit aflame. As a result, the skating greats are permanently banned from the sport, and their lives take equally disheartening turns. MacElroy is "un-adopted" by his millionaire father and ditched on the side of the road with only his baby blue luggage and a stuffed animal. Michaels hits the bottle and the hash and can't even hack it as the evil wizard in children's show "Grublets on Ice." That is, until a loophole changes everything. MacElroy and Michaels were banned from singles skating, but not pairs. With TV's own "Coach" Craig T. Nelson as their guide, the unlikely duo must set aside their differences in pursuit of Olympic glory, and a homoerotic series of events unfolds, with lurid embraces, innuendo-packed one-liners and questionable positioning throughout. Will Ferrell shows no shame as sex addict and perpetually "leather-clad lothario" Chazz Michael Michaels. True to any Ferrell flick as of late, the skater embraces his hairy, gelatinous gut, never passing up an opportunity to show off his curves and sporting tattoos of his sexual conquests on his defined torso. An especially humorous moment arrives when Ferrell is detailing the symbolism of his body art in a heart-to-heart with his partner and reveals the identities of his various ice queen conquests ("She's colder than ice … she's colder than dry ice. What's colder than dry ice? Oksana Baiul.") Conversely, although his platinum blonde, Dorothy Hamill-esque locks and pink lip gloss help his cause (he looks "like a 15-year-old girl, but not hot"), Jon Heder struggles to overcome his Dynamite diction. The man can try, but he will never fully escape his breakout role, making each of his lines sound like he's asking that fat lard Tina to come get some gosh darn dinner. Kudos to Heder though, he does have the scowling-faced, whiny character down to a tee. And when paired with Ferrell, his standard character creates one heck of a comedic cocktail. Where Ferrell is bold and abrasive, Heder succeeds in a subtle humor and ups the awkward ante substantially. Also adding flavor to the mix are a handful of comedic actors and other champions on ice. Amy Poehler ("Saturday Night Live") and Will Arnett ("Let's Go to Prison") create more sugar-shocked sexual tension than the Osmond family as brother-sister duo — and conniving rivals of MacElroy-Michaels — Fairchild and Stranz VanWaldenberg and "The Office" actress Jenna Fischer, plays a convincing role as their innocent younger sister. Skating showman Scott Hamilton steps in to provide exciting play-by-play rinkside commentary and narrate hilarious NBC Sports-style montages, Nancy Kerrigan drops in to "officially give [Chazz] a boner" and even Sasha Cohen lends some spectator support, to round out the great cast. With each interpretive ice dance move and each "mind-bottling" sit spin, "Blades of Glory" succeeds in its quest to bring laughs rinkside. Although the sexual innuendo and suggestive choreography becomes played out and redundant down the stretch, the film is at least worthy of a bronze medal. Grade: 3.5 and 5
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Ferrell ice skating spoof gloriously comical
by Ashley Voss
April 8, 2007
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