It could seem perplexing that hotel heiress/socialite Paris Hilton would take on any task requiring more energy than what is needed to apply mascara and pose for the paparazzi. Her daily activities seem to range from snogging shipping heirs to notorious clubbing. And yet, to much surprise and amazement, though with little anticipation, Hilton has recently put out a partially creditable effort at actually doing something to deserve her fame — aside from a ditzy reality TV series and a bombed horror flick. She made an album.
But don't run off and buy it just yet. Give her props for trying, but don't waste your time and money.
The self-titled CD consists of 11 tracks, infused with reggae beats and typical self-promoting lyrics. Hilton enlisted the help of big-name producers like Scott Storch for the project. The end result consists of "Turn It Up," "Fightin' Over Me" featuring Fat Joe and Jadakiss, "Stars Are Blind", "I Want You," "Jealousy," "Heartbreak," "Nothing in This World," "Screwed," "Not Leaving Without You," "Turn You On" and "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy."
Hilton sings in a breathy tone that only borders on sexy, and she is in full-on baby voice. Seeming to always play a character, listeners are only left with the conclusion that this character can't sing. Hilton's whispering antics try in vain to hide her lack of vocal range, which seems solely to lie in flat notes and lots of moaning. What is accomplished quite successfully, however, is Hilton painfully alerting those actually listening to how uninterested and distracted she sounds, as if recording her own songs was such an unworthy chore as compared to shopping or getting a manicure.
Listening to the songs at a club, like her hit single "Stars Are Blind," could end up as an enjoyable experience if one focused on moving to the beat more than her voice. The dance vibes come across as refreshingly fun. In an August interview with Blender magazine, Hilton said, "People go crazy, they love it. Everyone's like, 'Who is this?' I don't tell. Because I don't want someone putting their phone up and recording it and making a ring tone off of it." The star added, "I think when people don't know it's me, they won't judge it. But if they know it's me, then they'll be like, 'Ugh.' They won't even dance."
Some tracks yield mostly obvious insight to Hilton's personal happenings. Her 2005 fallout with ex-gal pal Richie inspired "Jealousy," in which the singer claims the pair is no longer because of Richie's jealousy toward her. "Screwed" also has undertones of former disagreements, this tune about her infamous sex tape and subsequent Internet scandal with ex-boyfriend Rick Solomon.
As it turns out, most of the tracks are worthy of being skipped. The CD opener "Turn It Up" begins with Hilton uttering her two favorite words, "that's hot," while moaning into the mic; "I Want You" takes after the beats of "Grease;" and her cover of Rod Stewart's "Do Ya Think I'm Sexy" is enough to make any sane person scream.
For a girl who is famous simply for existing, the CD is a decent enough first effort in its pop style and rhythms. Even so, don't expect to see any Grammys for this work. Hilton will always have at least one fan, though: herself. She raves of the CD, "I, like, cry, when I listen to it. It's so good."
Grade: 2 out of 5
