Hagstrum says:

Don’t get me wrong, The Badger Herald-Daily Cardinal flag football game is quite impassioned, and how can you go wrong with a Boston Red Sox-New York Yankees October classic? But who am I kidding? There’s only one England versus Australia cricket match.

When the match concludes, which can take upward of several days, riots have been known to start. People start trashing city streets, burning anything in sight and acting more belligerent than the Madison students and those despicable “out-of-staters” during UW’s very own Halloween in 2004. You thought Game 7 of the 2004 ALCS was intense? Think again.

In two-inning matches, there are typically stoppages in play to let the fans and players eat lunch and make that oh-so-necessary trip for tea. Yeah, that’s right. This rivalry gets so severe that there needs to be planned timeouts to settle down and have some tea and crumpets. Since when did Terry Francona and Joe Torre stop to sit around a table with their legs crossed and sip lemon and sugar tea? Uh … never. Otherwise, it would be more than six straight hours of running back and forth in the pitch trying to avoid being bowled or caught. Not even these fine-tooled athletes can keep up.

Compared to England’s national team, the New York Yankees bats (during the regular season) are punchless. Cricket teams can average more than 200 runs … in a few innings!

Don’t fret, Australian fans, it’ll only be two more hours until your team bats, but that 70-run deficit is nothing you can’t overcome. Plus, even if you lose, at least you can hope to trash some city that’s not your own and call it your … defeat lap.

So, take out your bats, break a couple bottles and get ready to play — and riot — in the most intense rivalry ever.

Voelkel says:

When it comes to rivalries, few are as storied or intense as the Herald-Cardinal football game.

While the annual newspaper game has had its classic moments over the years, it doesn’t come anywhere close to being the greatest heavyweight rivalry of all time.

That distinction, friends (or should I say comrades), belongs to Rocky Balboa and Ivan Drago.

The fact that the Balboa-Drago rivalry lasted only one go-around matters little. In fact, had the match taken place some 20 years later, there would have been several sequels. Nowadays, it is seemingly impossible to find a good title bout that isn’t either the second or third meeting of two fighters.

And while there was only one fight between the two, the bout itself was fueled by the most vital ingredient of a good rivalry: revenge.

After Drago heartlessly brutalized Rocky’s friend Apollo Creed, killing him during an exhibition match of all things, the Italian Stallion was moved to action. Out to avenge his friend’s death, Rocky beats Drago in a fantastic exciting ending — another rivalry must-have.

The best rivalries transcend the mere sport itself, however. Rivalries require people to choose sides. Balboa-Drago does just that.

For the cold-hearted, inhumane Communists out there, Drago’s your guy.

For the good fight- and underdog-loving rest of the population, Rocky’s your man.

England and Australia in cricket? Come on. That can’t possibly be the best rivalry ever. First, it’s cricket. Strike one. Second, it fails to pass the most important sports test: It doesn’t involve America on any level. Strikes two, three, four, five and however many more it takes to get out in that game.

To quote Drago: Hagstrom, “I must break you.”

Balboa-Drago in a unanimous decision.