As if spring break wasn't exciting enough with all the beaches, boats, bikinis and beer, this year's edition also happened to be one of the most exhilarating in sports.

The official start of baseball and golf's unofficial opening weekend with the Masters gave collegiate sports fans plenty to watch on the couch while recovering from the previous night's binge — in sweatpants with Aloe Vera and the headache medicine of choice close at hand, of course.

And it was truly a magical sporting weekend.

While anyone who has had the privilege of walking Augusta National during the Masters will tell you it is a unique and wonderful experience, the fact is that without A) connections that would make Al Capone jealous, B) a bankroll that has you spotting cash to Mark Cuban or C) having no problem with committing armed robbery, the chances of a person getting the opportunity to be in the gallery at the Masters are on par with the Insane Clown Posse winning a Nobel Peace Prize.

That's what makes baseball so great.

There is something magical about attending a Major League Baseball game. Not magical in the David Copperfield or Amazing Jonathan sense of the word, but magical like taking a trip to Disney World (so long as you get a picture with Donald and Daisy Duck), except that it costs less.

For a total of less than 40 bucks and some minimal transportation, you could've seen the entire home opening series if you were in Miami, Atlanta or Arlington, Texas. Heck, if you were around Tampa Bay, Fla., the Devil Rays probably would have paid you to attend.

But just because you have a couple of Jacksons in your wallet doesn't make you prepared to properly take in a MLB contest. Here are some rules to taking in a baseball game:

A cap is required apparel

Much like wearing goofy sunglasses at a poker table or a fanny pack (if you're a middle-aged mom) to a theme park, a baseball cap is an absolute must at the ballpark. First off, you should want one anyway, either to root for the home team, block out the sun, fan yourself off or in the case of emergency, use it as a glove for catching foul or home run balls.

Secondly, the cap is as much a part of baseball as the spitball and adjusting one's crotch protection, being a key part of the national anthem ("Please remove your caps…") and the late-inning rally, as you can't don the rally cap if you don't have a cap to begin with.

Don't want to wear a cap for fear of ruining your hairdo? Two words: Oscar Gamble.

Peanuts or Cracker Jacks are mandatory

It's in "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" and is thus mandatory. Plus they go well with certain beverages, which are also a key part of baseball, segueing perfectly into…

Heckle like there's no tomorrow

No matter where your seats are, it is unlikely any opposing player will really be able to hear anything you say. In truth, heckling is meant more for entertainment for all those fans within earshot of you, plus it's fun.

Getting a whole section to start slow-chanting Hideo Nomo's name is more of a blast than throwing water balloons off a 20-story apartment building.

Try to be creative: A good example would be accusing the portly Dmitri Young of eating the AFLAC trivia duck.

This is where the cold beverages can really help out. Just remember the best zingers are delivered sans vulgarities, since there are likely a bunch of little kids around. Speaking of which…

Don't kick the kids

Baseball is great for a lot of reasons. It's spectacular because it is such a conversational game, with plenty of time to talk between pitches. It's leisurely, not needing the active fan noise and participation from fans at all times like football and basketball (heckling not included of course) and generally is pretty calming.

All of this makes it really easy for children with attention spans shorter than Brad Lidge's leash to become the most irritating aspect of any trip to the stadium.

While punting a 4-year-old might seem like a good idea, in the end it will ruin your baseball journey more than it will help, what with the ejections, lawsuits and probable jail time involved.

Instead, if a child around you is losing his focus and eating up your patience, suggest some things his dad might get him.

Within a half-inning, that father and son combo will be gone, at least for the short-term.

While these are all important rules to doing a baseball game right, there is one rule that must be followed above all others:

Boo Barry Bonds.

Dave McGrath is a senior majoring in English and journalism. He witnessed Miguel Cabrera, Dontrelle Willis and Co. dominate at Dolphin Stadium over spring break (much like they are doing to the Brewers Monday). If you have a rule you'd like to add, you can reach Dave at [email protected].