McGrath

There are just some jobs in the world that people are meant to do.

Bill Russell was meant to be a center on an NBA basketball team. FDR was meant to be president of the United States. Kevin Federline was just meant to be a loser.

And Tommy Amaker is simply just meant to underachieve with his loyal band of underachievers, sort of like how Jared is meant to watch over those dreadful rolls of wretchedness produced at Subway.

Amaker should go to the NBDL and create his own franchise. He could call it the Ann Arbor NIT-wits, in honor of Tommy's favorite postseason tournament. I'm sure he could get Chris Webber to bankroll the operation, since it was Webber who all but ruined Amaker's chances of succeeding at Michigan in the first place. Plus, living in Detroit, C-Webb could give himself season tickets. Hell, he could insert himself into the starting lineup.

Speaking of the lineup, much like Bruce Willis in "Armageddon," Amaker would have to track down his team with his ol' standbys to fill his roster. Courtney Sims, Brent Petway, Lester Abram and Dion Harris are must-haves. Without them, Amaker will fail (likely by winning way more games than expected). You could bring in Daniel Horton from NBA preseason team obscurity and then round out the roster with either high school kids who jumped to the NBA too early or players from "And 1 Streetball."

Regardless, the announcer for "Streetball" should be on the court at all times as the P.A. announcer.

Once he has his men, Amaker will be ready to continue his career of underachieving with some of the most talented (at least physically) players in the game, a task that his is unmatched at in efficiently. His teams will start the season off like a rocket and end as if that rocket only had half the fuel necessary to escape the Earth's atmosphere.

At least the NIT will likely still allow Amaker to compete, just for tradition's sake. It wouldn't be the same without him.

Point: NIT-wits.

Poppy

After his firing from Michigan, the question on everyone's mind is: What will Tommy Amaker do?

There's no doubt Amaker is a great recruiter, so it's not unlikely that he'll catch on at some head coaching vacancy right away — although his six lackluster seasons in Ann Arbor may turn some away.

Or, he could take a season or two off, do the popular broadcasting gig and jump back into coaching when he sees the opportunity.

But this isn't about what Amaker is going to do; this is about what he should do.

Given his track record, there's one thing Amaker's very familiar with: the NIT. Three out of his six seasons with the Wolverines, Amaker made the not-NCAA tournament, even winning in 2004.

While the NIT has been making strides with its new eligibility rules, it could use someone like Amaker to run the tournament. After all, there couldn't be a more qualified guy.

Aside from the automatic bids, Amaker would know what teams to invite to the tournament — all he would have to do is compare them to his past Michigan teams.

If Amaker were to take over the NIT, his first change would probably be to scratch the home-court advantage in the first couple of rounds. Since Amaker's heart is still probably in Ann Arbor for the time being, he would change the tourney's first-round site to the Crisler Arena. That way, at least Amaker would think he's giving something back to the university … kind of.

Seeing as how Amaker's a "NIT-wit," the tournament's trophy would then change, too. Does anyone even know what the NIT trophy looks like right now? Exactly. Amaker knows the importance of making a memorable trophy, so he'll smack a golden likeness of his face on the tourney's award. It might not be as illustrious as the Lombardi Trophy, but doesn't Amaker deserve it?