McGrath

Scottie Pippen thinks he is the ready to come back to the NBA and help lead a team to an NBA championship? Puh-leeze. Scottie couldn't lead a whale to water, as evidenced by the Bulls' success once Michael Jordan left and how well the Rockets and Portland did with his services.

Pippen should just shut his trap and go back dunking doughnuts in his coffee and leave the NBA comeback to a true difference-maker: Pat Riley.

Riles would, first off, be the true coach on the court. All teams are looking for that point guard who can be a leader and act as a floor general at all times. P-Riddy would certainly fit that bill, as he could probably overthrow the true coach of the team at any given time. That's not just a general — that's a dictator.

Patty also has game. Back in the 1970s, the Kentucky graduate averaged 7.4 points and 1.7 assists a night and contributed to the Lakers winning an NBA title. Could he do it today? So long as Stephan Marbury can still put up 20 points a game in the league, I'll believe anyone in better shape than Butterbean can.

You might be thinking that P-Rizzle's recent hip replacement surgery would hold him back. No way. First off, he would get to park in the handicap zone outside the arena and would never be late for practice.

Once he hit the court, he would be able to box out anybody with the use of his walker. You get a hunk of steel to the shin and attempt to rebound a basketball at the same time. Do you know how far Riley could reach in for a steal with the added three feet of walker? It wouldn't even be fair.

Plus, what NBA player would be able to even lay a finger on the senior citizen without being whistled for a foul, especially whenever Dick Bavetta was on the case? They might even move in the free-throw line for Riles, based on his senior citizenship.

Point: Riley

Poppy
Scottie Pippen is just opening the floodgates for a boatload of washed-up players making their way back to the NBA.

Tyrone Hill, Vin Baker, Shawn Kemp, Rick Fox, Vlade Divac, the list goes on. Maybe even Tim Hardaway, though the NBA probably won't let him back for awhile.

The best candidate to come back to the Association, however, isn't quite retired. David Stern ought to reinstate Chris Andersen immediately. Who cares about his drug use — it's a black eye the NBA can live with in exchange for "The Birdman."

Now, Andersen wasn't exactly the best player. In fact, if the 41-year old Pippen indeed came back, he would probably be much better than Andersen.

For the past two years, the league's dunk contest has been amid some controversy. In 2006, New York Knicks guard Nate Robinson attempted 14 stuffs before connecting in the final round, and he still took home the crown. After the heated debate over Robinson's missed-dunkathon, the NBA established a new rule for this year's contest: a two-minute time limit, and if reached, only two extra attempts. Lo and behold, Robinson took every necessary attempt to finish his performance.

While Robinson didn't win this year, it's apparent he needs some competition. In comes Andersen.

"The Birdman" was the laughingstock of the 2005 dunk contest, missing his first eight attempts on his first dunk and then his first five attempts on his second. Basically, Andersen was the original Robinson in terms of missing dunk after dunk and pissing off fans, commentators and competitors alike.

The NBA should bring the washed-up drug abuser back and have him dunk off against Robinson. Stern and company could then have the winner remain in the league, and the loser picks up the remainder of Andersen's two-year ban.