Ah, slow-pitch softball. Arguably one of the greatest sports ever invented. It is one of few sports that can be played with a group of four-year-olds, a gathering of 'old-timers,' or a bunch of college kids with a four-to-one player-keg ratio.
Softball also has many different styles of play. People have played it in class with a pencil and spitball. Others have attempted the sport with a metal bat in the middle of a thunderstorm. Most congregate in a cul-de-sac and aim for windows.
Either way, we have all played this sport in some form or another, because softball is all about the good times.
That's it. There's strategy, excitement, drinking, cartwheels, home runs, and did I mention drinking? All you need is some form of a stick and a ball, and you've got yourself a guaranteed two hours of joy.
And yet, this Friday when the "au natural," Kat Osterman-like Heralders meet the "Bonds on Bonds" likes of the Cardinal staff for the annual Vilas Park softball skirmish, fun will be in the form of being a Michigan fan sitting in the student section of Camp Randall.
There will be arguments, debates, debacles, blood, sweat, tears … and it will all begin when someone from the Herald yells, "Size does matter!"
But that is the least of the energy that this beloved sport can spark between two rivaling foes. The best thing about this game will be the heart that both teams will put into the sport.
And do our readers actually care who will succeed as the victor? Not really, but the pride will be held within the paper that gets to take home the trophy and write the winner's article, which will appear Monday in the paper which failed to live up to expectations. Because, let's be honest, we all want to win.
This sport is not only about pride — it's about history, despite the fact that most people who will take part in tomorrow's contest didn't even take up the great sport until last week.
Indeed, this slow-styled sport does not take many skills (compared to its respected sister sport, fast-pitch softball).
The sport was invented 118 years ago by a bunch of boys awaiting the results of the Harvard-Yale football game. After the Yale victory was announced, someone threw a boxing glove at another, who hit it with a pole. The so-called founder, George Hancock, then yelled, "Let's play ball," and the fever began.
Leave it up to a bunch of Ivy Leaguers to invent a sport with a pole and boxing glove.
Softball was later added to the Olympics in 1996, but after an American sweep at every Olympiad since; it has been dropped, along with baseball, for the 2012 games.
The sports up for replacing it include golf, rugby, squash, karate and roller sports.
Sure, that is what the Summer Olympics need — roller sports. That will go perfect with trampolining, table tennis and rhythmic gymnastics.
It's too bad the International Olympic Committee enjoys the thrill of cheap sports. Too bad we can't see kickball in the Games, or beer kickball for that matter. I'm sure the Russians will claim the throne to that one.
Anyway, this bunch of journalists from the Herald is more than thrilled to take part in a little piece of American history. We've stretched our fingers; practiced lifting our tape-recorders, bulked up on what we hope was protein from the Asian Kitchen, memorized the Associated Press Stylebook and practiced the great art of throwing balls around the office.
We are (cough-cough) athletes and we are ready to play. Our drug tests were clear (prior to 4/20) and we are bloodthirsty.
So with this column, I am now pumped and excited to yell,
"Let's play ball!" or … "Size does matter!"
Shannon is a super senior who is a former softball player. To discuss this great sport or the game today, send an e-mail to [email protected].
