It has become a fairly evident consensus that the only thing more boring to watch than paint drying is the NBA regular season. And deservedly so. Eighty-two games of lazy defense, isolation plays and apathetic effort from overpaid thugs is enough to send any sane person kicking and screaming towards the loony bin.

Five months of watching athletes who care more about their Armani wardrobe, body art and Cadillac Escalades might even be more painful to endure than a summer of the Milwaukee Brewers.

But let’s face it, there hasn’t been this amount of hype or enthusiasm heading into the NBA regular season in quite some time. The development of recent draft picks, the results of off-season transactions and the unfolding of preseason drama haven’t been this anticipated in a number of years.

And maybe people aren’t painting the town with their respective teams colors yet, but there does seem to be a certain sense of intrigue as the NBA pulls us into November.

There are some serious question marks throughout the league that are lacking definitive answers. Will the Lakers finally be dethroned? Is MJ kidding himself again? Will Yao begin to revolutionize the game? Is it even worth having the Eastern Conference?

The only anecdote to surviving the excruciating boredom that is the NBA regular season is to indulge yourself in the constantly occurring subplots that begin to characterize particular teams and players.

As if last year’s seven-game conference-final showdown wasn’t enough to fuel an intense rivalry between the Lakers and Kings, they had to be scheduled against one another in the preseason. A Shaquille O’Neal questioning of Sacramento’s masculinity coupled with a preseason brawl between Rick Fox and Doug Christie has put this battle for Western Conference supremacy on the front burner of the NBA season.

There will be talk and comparison of these two teams for the better part of the year, and the experts and analysts will have you believe that these are the only teams that matter in the league. There will be a war of words across the airwaves of ESPN and most likely a few more cheap shots in one of their four meetings throughout the season.

However, there is NBA life outside the state of California, and it would be wise to pace your intake of basketball’s most intriguing rivalry as it will undoubtedly be present when Memorial Day rolls around at the end of May.

Not so predictable, though, is the fate of the other 27 NBA teams. A lot of teams seem to be optimistic heading into the season, and the 2003 playoff tree doesn’t appear to be as clear-cut as it has been in the past.

Is Yao Ming the missing piece to Houston’s winning puzzle? His scoreless debut against Indiana Wednesday night might have you believing “no,” but his inside presence might just be the perfect compliment to an extremely talented backcourt of Steve Francis and Cuttino Mobley.

Can the Wizards contend in the east? The addition of Stackhouse was the best off-season move in the league, and the experience of Jordan and the development of Kwame Brown may give Washington a legitimate chance of contending in the unbelievably weak Eastern Conference. Wasting their draft pick on the not-yet-ready Jared Jefferies might be the only thing working against them this season.

Will the Dallas Mavericks’ plethora of talent learn the importance of defense after the sorry lesson they learned in the conference quarterfinals last year?

How much will Dikembe Mutombo help the Nets this year and what the hell was Philadelphia thinking when they traded him for the pathetic excuse of impact talent that is Keith Van Horn?

Did Boston’s trade to get Vin Baker elevate them to the next tier of competition, or will the Celtics begin to sag like Baker’s points per game and over the hill gut?

Is Andre Miller the man to utilize the Clippers youthful talent, and is Cleveland seriously throwing the entire season to secure a lock on the emerging phenomenon Lebron James?

Is Toni Kukoc the answer to the Bucks prayers (not a chance), or will they continue to plummet from their 2001 conference finals campaign?

When in God’s name will the Timberwolves get past the first round of the playoffs and will Terrell Brandon ever play a single minute while earning $10 million this season?

Will David Robinson’s final year yield a playoff run or the same embarrassment garnered by Patrick Ewing and Hakeem Olajuwon who also stayed in the league one too many years?

Can Allen Iverson and Larry Brown weld together a strong enough relationship to carry the Sixers back to the finals, or is the addition of Keith Van Horn too much for a team to overcome?

Can the return of Grant Hill catapult Orlando into contention, and will he and Tracy McGrady be the most dominate duo in the east?

Is the Bulls four-year rebuilding plan finally complete, or is Jay Williams just another wasted draft pick that could have been used to trade for another experienced player to compliment Jalen Rose?

Can Jerry West do for the Grizzlies what he did for the Lakers, or will the Mike Bibby-for-Jason Williams trade haunt them as Bibby rises to the ranks of the NBA elite?

Is it time for Baron Davis to contend for an MVP, and will the Hornets entertain more than 2,000 fans in New Orleans?

Why can’t the thugs in Portland ever win in the playoffs and could Scottie Pippen be anymore annoying of an athlete?

But again, does any of this really matter? The Lakers are still the exact same team they were last year, and the year before that, and even the year before that one.

But for now we can just forget about the inevitable and focus on the subplots. It’s the only way to enjoy the NBA regular season and it’s the only way to survive this pathetic excuse for competitive basketball. Because Game 7 of the Western Conference Finals between the Lakers and Kings is a long way away.