Like a snowstorm in Phoenix or a Kansas City Royal at an All-Star game, there’s something off about seeing a group of high-schoolers walking down State Street. Depending on the clothing choices of the herd — letter jackets, black wristbands or Badger gear — one of three questions typically surfaces. Why do we have the state wrestling tournament here? Do people really like Umphrey’s McGee? Are freshmen shrinking? * However, despite our bewilderment, there are people under 18 living in Madison, and they’ve recently come to the attention of the Madison City Council.
Two aldermen, Thuy Pham-Remmele, District 20, and Paul Skidmore, District 1, have started discussions surrounding a “parental responsibility law” that would potentially levy various forms of punishment on parents who have trouble controlling their rowdy kids. Also known as the “Dennis the Menace Act” — by me, at least — the idea is to attack the problem of juvenile delinquency at a deeper level than simply slapping kids on the wrists by… slapping parents on the wrists. Although it’s still early, and the parental responsibility law is still in the idea phase, it’s hard to see this amounting to anything remotely resembling effective change.
Not that effective change is the ultimate goal here, because with Pham-Remmele, nothing ever makes sense. If City Council were Paddy’s Pub, Pham-Remmele would be Charlie, minus the spray paint and the sock. Probably. She is as predictable as the path of that water droplet Jeff Goldblum just dropped on the back of your hand, once going as far as questioning The Badger Herald’s 20-year-old managing editor on his drinking habits during a City Council meeting.
But if there’s one area when we can sort of pin down her opinion, it’s kids. Last year, Pham-Remmele helped head a proposal moving curfew back from 11 p.m. to 10 p.m., Sunday through Thursday, and midnight to 11 p.m. on Friday and Saturday, effectively making her more uncool in middle schools than math, Mark Twain and that kid who goes by “Chip.” It didn’t pass, but as any good parent would tell you, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. And try to be home by midnight.
That’s the first red flag. The second came from a Wisconsin State Journal story last Wednesday in which Ald. Skidmore was quoted as saying, “We’re both committed (to making a proposal)… I think consequences are going to be important. Without consequences, what incentive is there?” Well, Ald. Skidmore, there’s plenty of incentive and little of it is a product of fines or mandated counseling. Simply put, the incentive for monitoring a child’s activities, especially one with a history of acting out, is to avoid having a messed up kid on your hands.
Creating a parental responsibility law isn’t going to help save kids because it’s an attempt to pigeonhole an incredibly complex issue. The American household has become an increasingly hectic place, with longer work days, divorce and the rising rate of single-parent families. This isn’t an excuse for ignoring a kid — if the child is really being ignored, that is; sometimes we try too hard to prevent children from being children, and that often comes courtesy of the crazy neighbor who doesn’t like footballs in her yard and turns her lights off during Halloween — but there has to be a better solution than more laws.
Instead, this is a perfect opportunity to stick with things that work. Promote community programming, create relationships with those in your neighborhood, enforce the reasonable curfew laws that already exist. If kids still act out, send out a squad car, and if gangs are really a problem in Madison, then it’s probably time to put some real effort into MPD’s Gang Task Force.
Helping kids is not a risky proposition. Using a Pham-Remmele plan to help kids might be.
Sean Kittridge ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in journalism and history.
*Because to farm boys, Madison represents the big city — “Look, ma, they got TWO Subways.” No. They’re not getting smaller, we’re just getting fat.
