It’s your family’s annual Christmas party and everyone is gathered at the dinner table eating figgy pudding and talking about their Black Friday shopping experiences. All of a sudden, Uncle Sal clears his throat and announces to the room that he is dating a man. The room goes silent. Grandma drops her spoon and bursts into tears. Grandpa storms out and everyone else sits and stares at the turkey carcass sitting on the table, uncomfortable and hesitant to say anything about the big elephant that just appeared in the room.
There exists an unwritten list of taboo subjects that are considered inappropriate to discuss in the company of one’s peers and acquaintances, among them is homosexuality. To avoid confrontation and offending others, it is a common practice to avoid the issues of race, religion, sexual preference, class, etc. Essentially, any subject that sparks more debate than say, whether it’s cold in Wisconsin during the winter months, is avoided.
As a culture, we are hypersensitive to these subjects because they are concepts that people usually have pretty strong and passionate opinions about. Recently, the editors of The Badger Herald prompted its opinion staff and the rest of our campus to respond to another issue of contention: diversity.
I am no stranger to this term. I went to an inner city high school whose population was more diverse than a bag of Jelly Bellys. It was not OK, however, to discuss this fact with anyone within the walls of our school. It was also encouraged that we shouldn’t converse about the varying socioeconomic statuses of the students, sexual preference or disabilities. The administration, instead of fostering healthy conversation among its students about the similarities and differences that exist between all peoples, regardless of their race, gender or creed, decided to silence these discussions for fear that they might be offensive or stereotypical.
Guess what? My school’s administrators were right to fear these kinds of responses. It’s a natural response to want to defend one’s opinions and backgrounds. Unfortunately, the tone in which we approach talking to people about their beliefs and opinions is one of hesitation and with the expectation that our opinions will be disregarded, or worse, challenged.
This mindset is detrimental to furthering acceptance among the students on this campus. Instead of going into a situation with the attitude of “it’s my way or the highway,” we need to recognize no one person will ever agree with you on every subject. Let’s agree to disagree. By listening to others’ opinions and expressing your thoughts in a tactful way, you will actually strengthen any argument you have because you will be able to play devil’s advocate.
Our hesitation to talk about taboos is unsubstantiated, because in truth, we are all entitled to our opinions. Diversity, whatever your definition of it is and whichever context in which you are thinking of it in, is a fact of life. Accept it and move on.
The next time someone comes up to you on the street and wants to talk about the pros and cons of universal health care or whether Oprah should retire, instead of jumping on the offensive, take a step back and breathe (or if you don’t know this person who randomly approached you on the street, run away.) Remember, too, that when Uncle Sal decides to have another revelation over fruitcake and apple cider, remember his choices and his beliefs are his own and need to be respected.
This lesson will not only allow you to get through your next social “awkward turtle” moment, but it will also make it easier to digest and understand all the discussions we are having about diversity and its meaning.
Chelsea Lawliss ([email protected]) is a sophomore intending to major in journalism.