John McCain and I don’t share much in common.

For example, he’s a courageous Vietnam War veteran, and I’m
gravely afraid of stray dogs. He likes the Beach Boys (one song in particular)
while I prefer the Monkees. He has apparently never been to an Indiana
marketplace in the summertime, and I actually have.

But we have come together on one particular point: We’re not
experts on the economy. Speaking at a closed session with corporate bosses on
Wednesday in Milwaukee, Mr. McCain continued to make that fact abundantly
clear. (Oh yeah, and we also differ in that I’m not running for president, a
job that requires superior knowledge of ours, the largest economy in the
world.)

You see, with the economy, as with so many other issues, Mr.
McCain’s first problem is that he has never really been sure about his
ideological stance. However, since climbing into the driver’s seat of the
Republican Party, the Arizona senator has realized he can’t just claim
ignorance and expect to pick up votes, especially as we head into a recession.
So Mr. McCain has done what all smart Republican presidential nominees should
do as they secure the party’s nomination: He’s undergone an intensive training
program at the Reagan School of Economics, and has emerged a completely
different man.

As someone who once said the Bush tax cuts for the
wealthiest of Americans “offended his conscience,” Mr. McCain is now
in support of them. It now appears John McCain is a born-again economist, whose
laissez-faire awakening is of biblical proportions.

In light of these recent developments, I’d like to test his
faith a little.

First and foremost, Mr. McCain’s policies are mathematically
inadequate, and his best of both worlds proposals fall tragically short of
being paid for. While Sens. Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton also suffer from
the same economic affliction, it appears as if the 72-year-old McCain may have
dusted off his old abacus to concoct most of the funding proposals he’s put
forth.

According to the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, Mr.
McCain’s sudden change of heart about the Bush tax cuts would cost the country
$2 trillion over the next 10 years. Likewise, his desire to repeal the
alternative minimum tax — which he often refers to as the
“alternate” minimum tax, something the “inexperienced”
Barack Obama would never get away with saying — could cost the nation up to
another $2 trillion in the next budget cycle, according to the CBPP.

Furthermore, McCain the warmonger is also fond of neglecting
that the war in Iraq is costing the U.S. nearly $150 billion per year by some
estimates — a war Mr. McCain has repeatedly said he could see lasting well
beyond his would-be presidency and even his own lifetime. On top of that, as
Mr. McCain reiterated Wednesday in Milwaukee, he wants to provide a 10 percent
decrease in the corporate tax rate, while at the same time allowing
corporations to immediately write off capital investments from their taxes.

Both the new McCain and the old have always liked attacking
pork barrel spending as a way to solve the country’s economic woes. Mr. McCain
has even said he wouldn’t sign a single bill into law if there were unnecessary
earmarks attached to it. But according to CNN, most estimates put earmark
spending at around only $20 billion per year, about the same amount as a couple
months in Iraq cost.

Furthermore, John McCain supports privatizing social
security through investment in the stock market. But the vast majority of
polling data suggests most Americans don’t want to gamble with the safety net
that takes care of the country’s elderly. According to his campaign’s website,
Mr. McCain has also proposed a health care plan that would put an end to the
employer tax exemption, with the aim of freeing up funds to purchase private
health care. But such a plan would have serious consequences for the old, the
poor and the sick, and would result in the need for even greater state
subsidies.

To make a long story short, John McCain now cares about the
economy. But his awakening has led him to a plan that calls for massive tax
cuts for the wealthiest of Americans, while at the same time hiking spending
for health care and the war, and leaving the well being of our nation’s elderly
up to a shaky stock market.

As I’ve admitted, I’m no expert on the economy. But when it
comes to John McCain’s proposals, I or any other tax-paying American is
qualified to pass judgment. We’ve seen how the antiquated economic solutions of
the ’80s, recreated with Bushonomics, have failed our current economy —
unfortunately, the senior senator from Arizona has not.

John McCain may very well have learned about the importance
of the economy over the course of his campaign, but he certainly hasn’t gotten
any smarter about it.

Andy Granias ([email protected]) is a
junior majoring in political science and philosophy.