Every
once and a while, a nonissue becomes so obnoxious, so rampantly annoying, that
the sheer commotion of gripes and grumbles that emanate from the discussion are
so prevalent that they warrant the issue actually be addressed — even if just
to remind ourselves why we hated it so much in the first place. The "what
should be said and done during the holiday season" debate is exactly one of
these issues.

By
introducing the "Christmas tree legislation" on Monday, Rep. Marlin Schneider,
D-Wisconsin Rapids, resurrected the debate — with all of the familiar reasons
and all of the faulty reasoning inherent in the "fight the war on Christmas"
argument.

Mr.
Schneider, however, did not explicitly make that argument. When stating why he
was introducing the legislation, Mr. Schneider decided to use the stated
reason, plain and (painfully) simple, that the tree's official title should be
changed because "it is what it is."

It seems
to me then that Mr. Schneider, and my colleague Ryan "miss no misnomer" Masse,
have quite a tall task ahead of them. After all, we live in a world of titles
and monikers that simply "aren't what they are."

The
Capitol Square for instance is, shockingly, not actually a square. The fact
that it does not have four right angles and four sides of perfectly equal
length will certainly — if Mr. Schneider holds to his stated rationale —
necessitate legislation to dub it "The Capitol Rectangle."

Additionally,
the White House — although it has managed to correctly identify the National
Christmas Tree as a Christmas tree — somehow overlooked correctly naming its
very own wings. In reality, the East Wing is actually facing more southeast
than due east. Likewise, the West Wing is more closely facing northwest than it
is due west.

Certainly,
then, if the Easter Egg Hunt is accurately named and the National Christmas
Tree is as well, then the official titles of the wings of the White House — the
most famous building in the country no less — must certainly be subjected to
immediate reform legislation.

But in
actuality, Mr. Schneider is not truly engaging in a vicious moniker-accuracy
rampage, and no one actually cares that the West Wing is not perfectly facing
due west. Instead, most people are able to read the writing on the wall and see
this type of maneuver for what it really is — another step by Christian
lawmakers to counteract a perceived "war on Christmas and Christianity."

Let's
first be very clear on something: I am far from an active member of the PC
Police, and rampant political correctness is certainly to blame for much of the
obnoxious mood that permeates the holiday season. But this political
correctness is not a war on Christmas, and it is certainly not a war on
Christianity.

Some
individuals, whether justified or not, feel offended when they see symbols of
another religion or are hailed with the wrong holiday greeting. These people
are indeed perfect examples of "political correctness run amok," as Mr. Masse
has stated. And I loathe this debate, if for nothing else than the pure
annoyance emanating from this type of person. But I am not the one to decide
what offends other people, and if calling a Christmas tree a Holiday Tree
appeases these people, then that is reason enough.

But this
is not even the most compelling reason the Holiday Tree in the Capitol should
remain labeled as such.

What
many fail to realize is that there are two holidays in this country that are
both labeled "Christmas." There is the holiday that celebrates the birth of
Christ and there is the holiday that celebrates presents and reindeer and
evergreen trees. One is religious and one is not.

So
whether intentional or not, indeed the holiday that most Americans celebrate
this time of year has nothing to do with the true Christian holiday of
Christmas. There is no war on this holiday, only an overt celebration of an
entirely different and secular holiday.

If our
aim is accuracy, then no, the Easter Egg Hunt at the White House, or anywhere
else, should not have Easter in the title at all. The death and resurrection of
Jesus, if I can recall from my Sunday school teachers, had little to do with
pastels or bunnies.

And if
accuracy is our aim, then not a single tree, no matter how commonly it may be
referred to as such, should ever be labeled a Christmas tree. The holiday that
almost the entire population in the United States celebrates — the one with
Frosty the Snowman, hot cocoa and evergreen trees — does not actually have
anything to do with the birth of Jesus.

The
latter holiday is accurately dubbed Christmas, and if there was an accurate
symbol of it in the Capitol rotunda, there would be a manger scene, or possibly
a 50-foot cross reaching toward the top of the Capitol dome. Certainly this
type of symbol would accurately be labeled a violation of the Establishment
Clause of the First Amendment.

But
there isn't a religious symbol at the Capitol. There is only a tree, a tree
that represents anything but the true meaning of Christmas. So while the term
Christmas tree may be the most identifiable, it is certainly not the most
accurate.

If we were
looking for accuracy, we might simply call this generic, nonreligious, seasonal
symbol a… Holiday Tree. If we're going to call it what it is.

Andy Granias ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in political science
and legal studies.