I had escaped. I had finally left the confines of Madison, if only for a short while.

I had gone to the last place any self-respecting Madisonian would never go, Texas.

I had managed to put more than 1,000 miles between Madison, the nutty isthmus of the north, and me.

I wasn’t supposed to be found, and I certainly wasn’t supposed to write. That is of course before my editor (known to some as the One-Legged Bandit) tracked me down and blackmailed me into this article. She threatened to make disparaging remarks about me to people I don’t know, and my image is clearly important to me.

Texas happens to be my native land, so I actually enjoy it here. After only three days, the twang has returned to my voice, and I’m beginning to feel like a real Texan again. I even tried to affect a West Texas strut until someone asked me why I was limping. When I arrived, I thought to myself how nice it would be to stay in a place where being conservative isn’t a sin. Here George W. Bush is not a swear word (although the Texans holds hands and dance around Bush’s picture, which is freaky).

In Texas people don’t bang drums in front of libraries. I haven’t witnessed a single protest yet. No one has ever heard of the Associated Students of Madison, and most importantly, no one here has asked me why I write for the white-racist-propaganda-machine (known to some as The Badger Herald).

I have tried very hard to put Madison, and everything in it, out of my mind. Yet here I sit thinking about what it is I miss. I cannot help but compare everything around me with Madison.

It dawned on me that no matter how far I get from Madison, it is still with me. I have gone as far as defending Madison’s politics to those who think us (yes, I wrote us) crazy. This would have been unthinkable a few years ago.

Obviously, I have been tainted in Madison, probably through the water. I can’t say whether it’s like an infection or a plague, but it is here.

Truthfully, I must say I realize I am much less conservative than I was before I started at UW-Madison, and it shows. Some of the everyday things here in Texas seem backwards, and unnecessarily old-fashioned. Compared to everyone else here, I look slovenly and un-kept if I don’t tuck in my shirt. Politically, Texas is worlds away from Madison. The Democrats here make those normally thought of as right wing in Madison seem like socialists. I must come to grips with the fact that UW and the city of Madison have forever changed me. Aside from the knowledge that we are all irrevocably changed by our time in Madison, there is one more thing I must impart to you all: Don’t Mess with Texas.

James P. Kent is a senior majoring in economics and business management.