In a keynote speech Tuesday night for a University of Wisconsin student organization’s sexual assault awareness month, an author and activist urged audiences to think about sex in a way that breaks from victim-blaming culture in a discussion on sexual assault and the myths surrounding it.
The author of a new non-fiction work entitled, “What You Really Really Want: The Smart Girl’s Shame-Free Guide to Sex and Safety,” Jaclyn Friedman, addressed different models of thinking about sex that could change how people view assaults.
She said victim-blaming, when people attribute the cause of an assault to the victim’s clothing or choices, often is a result of thinking about sex as a commodity, a worldview in which women view virginity as extremely valuable, attempt to make sex more appealing and assume that women do not want sex for their own reasons.
Friedman said this victim-blaming model of sexual assault, like rape, is not inevitable.
“This is really hard to get across to people in general, because it’s like asking them to consider that there’s something other than air that they could breathe,” Friedman said. “Most people just think this is true, but it is a paradigm and we could be living in another one.”
Friedman called her theory the “performance model,” which thinks about sex as a collaborative, creative exchange. One of the key components to this theory was the idea of enthusiastic consent, which means people are obligated to only be sexual with others when sure they are “into it.”
She also addressed problems surrounding rape-supportive culture, where sexual assault is considered normal and others dismiss rape based on other prevalent attitudes.
Friedman showed a slide of a “Rape Apology Bingo” card to illustrate the concept that showed common victim-blaming excuses, including statements the victim was trying to make the man pay or was simply faking the allegation.
She added while other crimes besides rape have the same rate of fake accusals, no other crime allegation is dismissed because of the assumption the victim is faking the charge.
Adding different perceptions can affect how people respond to sexual assault cases, Friedman drew contrasts between country singer Taylor Swift and pop star Rihanna. She said in a study, over half of high school students said Rihanna must have done something to deserve the sexual assault.
“Think about what would have happened if Taylor Swift had been beaten,” Friedman said. “We would have had a national dialogue. Think about what happened when she got interrupted by a black man.”
By promoting enthusiastic consent and living sex lives differently, Friedman said people can reject instances where others try to shame or blame them for their sexual choices, which could also more clearly identify those who condone sexual assault.
In an interview with The Badger Herald after Friedman’s speech, Promoting Awareness, Victim Empowerment Chair Val Kowis said Friedman’s speech tied in well to match the theme for month’s events of “Myth Busters,” by addressing common misperceptions surrounding sexual assault.
In response to a question on what could be done to improve campus climate surrounding instances of sexual assault, Kowis said first-year education on sexual assault is key.
Kowis added PAVE is working on a resolution that would be reviewed by the UW student government in the next few weeks, which would make sexual assault education for first-year students mandatory.
