As the Thanksgiving holiday approaches and folks prepare themselves for food and family time, Hump Day has an appetite for a different sort of stuffing. Fisting creates a sensation of fullness inside the vagina or anus unparalleled by fingers, penises or even expensive sex toys. Often underrated as sex toys due to their obvious simplicity, hands are free and should not be reserved exclusively for foreplay. Folks often assume fisting to be a specifically homosexual anal activity, but either the vagina or anus can hold a lubed-up fist.
Safety
Of course, fisting is far from a beginner’s activity and can result in injury if done too hastily or without enough lube. Trust and communication are essential. Discuss aspects of consent extensively, including desires, boundaries and hopes for the end result. Fisting is not a quickie activity and requires plenty of time, preparation and conversation.
Consider deciding on a safeword together so that things can slow down or stop completely. Using the stoplight system, where green means keep going, yellow means slow down or don’t go further, and red means stop, operates as an excellent check-in system that is easy to remember and execute. Be sure to share sexually transmitted infection (STI) status or get tested together beforehand.
Wet Warm-up
In preparation, trim the fingernails and remove any nail polish or jewelry. Purchase some latex or nitrile gloves as a barrier method or contemplate purchasing a fisting glove; these will help reduce friction, decrease risk of scratching from nails, and protect partners from passing along STIs.
Most importantly: lubricant. Fisting is an activity that requires lots of lube. Stay away from anal lubes with numbing agents, since these can prevent a receiver from being aware of pain or injury. Silicone lube stays slippery for longer than water-based lube, but has potential to stain sheets.
In the interest of minimizing mess, lay down some towels before beginning. Things are about to get wet. Apply lubricant to both the orifice and the hand doing the fisting — there is no such thing as too much lube, no matter which hole we are preparing to fist!
Slow and Steady
Start slowly by stimulating the partner and making sure they are suitably aroused; fisting works wonders when everyone is incredibly turned on. When everyone is ready for penetration, start slow with two fingers, then three, then four. Consider using a vibrator on the clit, penis, balls or nipples for some extra sensation.
Fisting is not a race, so take time and enjoy each stage of arousal. The more aroused a partner is, the bigger and wider the orifice becomes, making it easier to work up to a fist. If four fingers feel like plenty of penetration at this point, stop here and consider trying fisting again later — sometimes new sexual activities can take days or weeks to work up to. Sex is not a race, and fisting especially should never be rushed.
Fisting “Turducken”: The “Turn-duck-in” Technique
Once all four fingers are inserted and everyone is ready to continue to the next step, tuck the thumb in between the pinky and pointer finger so the hand looks something like a duck beak. A tapered hand is easier to insert into a partner, especially since the knuckles can prove the most difficult part of insertion.
Let the receptive partner lead and work slowly over the knuckles, rocking them against the tissue to stimulate internal parts of the clitoris, the G-spot or the prostate. Once the fister penetrates up to the base of their hand or top of the rest, make a motion as if turning a key in a lock to fully insert the fist. Fisting is not about thrusting, so slowly make a come-hither motion or make gentle rotations. Continue to ask what feels good and play with one another.
Prolonged Pull-out
One might be tempted to quickly pull the fist out after orgasm, but resist this urge as it can be startling and painful for the receptive partner. Removing the fist should be just as time-consuming as insertion.
Reverse the key turning motion and formation of the duck beak while pulling out to avoid hurting a post-fisted, blissed-out boo. Help relax their muscles with a massage or a vibrator. Apply more lube if necessary and move very slowly, paying careful attention to the receptive partner.
Afterwards, have a conversation about the experience. Was the fisting too much? Is it a new favorite activity? Should we try it on the kitchen floor next time? How was the lube? Communicating about likes and dislikes, desires and boundaries, preferences and differences, makes for much hotter sex.
