Although dating culture shines a spotlight on the person-to-person connections made between lovers, long-distance relationships flourish with comparable fervor. Exploring the world and oneself sometimes requires — or even lends itself — to a long-distance relationship with someone worth the effort.
In fact, nearly one-third of people in long-distance relationships are in college. Despite consistent rhetoric condemning the potentials of long-distance relationships, daunting physical distance can be overpowered by commitment, trust, honesty and communication.
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Folks considering a LDR may want to carefully consider these requirements. In addition, communicating needs surrounding monogamy (or lack thereof) is crucial in creating a long-distance relationship that works for everyone. Acknowledging the difficulties of long-distance helps keep the relationship grounded, but long-distance does not spell out a death sentence. Even when partners feel as though they are making a poor decision, love overpowers logic, and they leap into the unknown anyway.
Bridging the distance
Without the privilege of touch and face-to-face interaction, maintaining intimacy throughout a long-distance relationship can be tricky. Many couples establish rules for talking every day, Skyping a few times a week or traveling to visit one another every couple months.
Texting a long-distance partner even just once a day “can let us know that we are thinking of each other,” junior Sarah O. said, who has been dating her partner for five years, two-and-a-half of which have been long-distance.
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Sharing love, appreciation and intellectual discussions improve emotional closeness. Couples straddled across time zones take turns staying up to call one another or even fall asleep on Skype together hundreds of miles apart.
Luckily, technology’s fore into improving communication over long distances has produced some exceptional tools, such as Pillow Talk, which allows long-distance partners to wear a wristband that picks up their heartbeat and transmits it to the other person’s pillow. Several interviewees suggested Rabbit, a video chat app that lets couples watch movies or TV in sync.
One long-distance partner suggests Couple, a phone app “great for staying connected and feeling close” with the capability to text, send pictures and drawings, share your location on a map and even send a “thumb kiss” that both couples touch so that it vibrates.
Nowadays, long-distance couples can even hold hands while apart. When squeezed by one partner, the Taion Heart held by the other partner may vibrate, warm up, illuminate in different colors or vibrate in rhythm with a partner’s pulse.
Long-distance lovin’
Not all long-distance couples explore sexuality beyond their in-person experiences, but many mutually masturbate over Skype, send sexts, take nude photos, fantasize or write personalized erotica for one another. Dirty talk becomes an essential instrument in the long-distance relationship toolbox.
If these methods leave something to be desired, LovePalz offers interactive toys for long-distance pleasure. An insertive toy mirrors the vibrations and motions of the receptive toy, so this method offers an erotic solution to feeling sexually distant.
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Even Durex gets in on the fun with a phone app that vibrates underwear: Fundawear. No matter what happens between couples while apart, everyone agrees that the reunion creates crazy-passionate sexy time unparalleled to orgasms separated by a screen.
We asked several college students who are in, or who have been in a long-distance relationship about their experiences.
“What is the hardest part of a long-distance relationship?”
- “The hardest part about being in a long-distance relationship is the time difference. I’m six hours ahead, living in a different country and he works night shifts, so one of us usually sacrifices an hour of sleep to talk on the phone.” – senior Catherine B.
- “[A] bad part about the distance is how it can tie you down even more than any other relationship … I changed my work, travel and study abroad plans because of it, and while I have no regrets because it was so important to me, I still recognize it as one of the worst things about the relationship.” – junior Ikwe M.
- “Always having an expiration date … all of our times together felt a little less happy because I knew that soon enough he’d be gone and we’d be back to an exclusively digital relationship — my heart was honestly broken every time we had to say goodbye. It never got easier.” – junior Claire S.
“What is the best part of a long-distance relationship?”
- “The best part about being in a long-distance relationship is truly appreciating every minute you spend together.” – junior Sarah O.
- “Because we had no other option, we really got to know each other deeply through hours and hours of Skyping prior to having sexual relations with one another. When we get into a fight, we stay on the line and explain to one another why we were upset and what the other can do or say to make it better.” –senior Ellie R.
- “At the end of my busy day being a strong independent woman in my own city, I still got to come home and talk with my sweetheart on the phone, and get that love and support that’s such a great part of relationships.” –junior Ikwe M.
- “We learned how to not be completely dependent on each other for comfort, solace and entertainment. We also learned to do things like confront, disagree and discuss instead of fight.” -sophomore Mark N.