Hump Day has delved into the complex pleasure center of BDSM in the past, but now it’s time to spice up old topics with a bit more spanking persuasion. Whether you’re spanking a misbehaving student, using a riding crop on your handsome steed or begging to be caned and flogged, impact play can be an exciting addition for sex adventurists and people who are looking for something new. The sound of a hand or tools hitting flesh, the feeling of being dominated, the sensation of blood flow increasing near the surface and the thrill of erotic pain can cause intense pleasure.
Hump Day: spice up Valentine’s Day with domination, submission this year
Spank You Very Much
Unlike many other BDSM practices, spanking requires no special tools at all (unless, of course, you decide to use a paddle). While discipline gear can intimidate beginners, spanking is a great introduction to the world of sadism and masochism. Depending on the type of scene, the bottom (submissive partner) can lie down on the lap of the top (dominator), bend over a table or chair or stand with palms flat against the wall. Sex positions such as doggy style or receptive partner on top allow for mid-thrust spanking. Positioning can intensify the sense of submission or humiliation sometimes associated with spanking. But many people use spanking without the added dimension of power play.
The first time you spank someone during sexy time, it should not be with all the force you can muster. Instead, warm up by starting low and slow. This prepares tops and bottoms, and allows the submissive partner to get used to sensations. Spankings can feel different depending on where they land. Spanking the lower half of the butt in the center can vibrate through skin to the clitoris for female-bodied people. For male-bodied people, spanking over the anus can send vibrations to the prostate. Explore with a partner to find those sweet spots!
Although spanking only requires a capable hand, tops can alter the feeling of being spanked by changing the shape of their hand. A cupped hand delivers the hit with a pocket of air, while a flattened palm strikes with a louder, fuller slap. Spanking with fingers apart creates more of a stinging feeling than keeping fingers together. Accessorizing with a leather, latex or silk glove might add to the experience and pausing in between blows to caress butt cheeks and genitals heightens pleasure. Remember to check in with a partner about which strike they prefer, or use dirty talk as sexy consent.
Bodily damage is so not sexy
No matter what kind of method we use, it is essential to only strike areas protected by fat or muscle. The most popular areas are the butt, thighs, calves and chest. Breasts may be another target, but are high-risk and should only be struck by experienced players. Luckily for y’all, Hump Day has composed a list of a few areas we should avoid during impact play:
- Kidneys. Located between the bottom of the ribcage and the top of the butt.
- Tailbone. Could be cracked or broken if hit.
- Hips. Several nerves are located along the bony part of the hips.
- Spine. Several small bones can be cracked or bruised.
- Neck. Never hit this area — many major arteries, tendons, glands, lymph nodes and the larynx are located here.
- Face. Sinuses, eyes, lips and cheekbones are very sensitive and can be easily damaged.
- Ears. Hitting the ears can cause permanent damage to hearing or sense of balance.
- Joints. These bony areas are vulnerable to bruising and deeper tissue damage.
As with all activities outside the conventional sexual script, clear, freely-given, informed, enthusiastic and ongoing consent is essential. Discuss activities extensively beforehand, including hard limits, safewords and aftercare. Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) does not end at negotiation; form a check-in system (such as green, yellow and red lights to signify keep going, slow down and stop respectively) so that everyone can feel safe throughout the activity.
Although lots of different people enjoy spanking (yes, even people who were spanked as kids), others might not see the appeal of impact play. Never feel obligated to participate in something that does not appeal to you. Never pressure anyone to experience anything they do not want to. Above all, celebrate the diversity of desire.
