Our culture constantly tells us that bigger is better; huge houses, supersized meals, skyscrapers … and penises. Porn sites boast countless ads promising “big penis secrets” that “keep her begging for more.” So it should come as no surprise that there are various methods of penis enlargement (vacuum pump, stretching with weights, pills, supplements, ointments, creams, surgery). But they do not work and carry many health risks.
Despite the implication that a larger dong will make sex partners happier, male-bodied folk worry far more about their size than their partners do. According to a 2008 study in the Journal of Health Psychology, men listed penis size among their top body concerns along with height and weight. If you’re self-conscious about your trouser snake, fear not: Hump Day is here to tell you how little size really matters.
It’s not the size of the ship, it’s the motion of the ocean
A recent Journal of Sexual Medicine study found that the average American penis measures 5.6 inches long when erect. Of course, schlongs differ greatly in appearance aside from size. Different hues, shapes, curves, circumcisions and the shape of balls create a diverse population of pork swords. Among those are the micropenises, which measure two standard deviations from the average international erect penis size (less than 2 inches). But smaller-than-average skin flutes by no means doom their owners to a sexless life because the majority of women — 60 percent — don’t even care about penis size.
Owners of huge lap rockets might think that their size makes up for lack of skill elsewhere, but the opposite is true. Slamming a 9-incher into a booty or vag without any precision or careful stimulation can be underwhelming or even painful. That third leg won’t make any magic if you don’t know how to use it! Meanwhile, smaller meat popsicles become more conscious of size and employ tongues, fingers, toys, fists and forearms to increase pleasure. The ideal love muscle flexes along with other parts of the body and brain. Besides, many things rank higher than the size of those heat-seeking moisture missiles! It turns out that the person matters, too.
Don’t be afraid to sheath your sword
Of course, some people do have preferences regarding size — that filled-up feeling can be imperative to a good romp in the hay for some. Luckily, we live in an age of creative sex toys that offer options for people who want to pack a little more punch in their pants.
Pink oboes can wear Cock sheaths, pliable-but-firm hollow dildos, for inorganic enlargement. Just get hard, lube up, pull the balls through a ring at the base that prevents the sheath from sliding off and bang away like the generously endowed porn star we all dream of. Unfortunately, the penis cannot feel anything through most brands, but this option can lessen worries about not satisfying a receptive partner.
If we worry about lack of sensation, Bad Dragon sells a version with an opening at the tip. Cock sheaths also work for those with erectile dysfunction or a tendency to jizz too early. If cock sheaths do not seem like the ideal choice, dildos come in all sorts of shapes and sizes and can be a great alternative. Vibrators also intensify sensations.
If you feel unsatisfied with your partner’s size, shaming them will harm, not help. If you’re interested in a cock sheath, Matthew Nolan of OhJoySexToy.com recommends visiting a sex toy shop together and expressing interest in them without implying complete dissatisfaction with the member nature gave your partner. After all, that fleshy tool is only one of the many things we can use to get each other off!
