I am very curious about libido. I think I may have the craziest libido of all time, I think about sex like 90 percent of the day, so I was wondering maybe why that is. What is libido, how can it cloud our judgement? -Anonymous
Lots of folks worry that their libido is too high or too low. But the fact is that libido varies from person to person, and there is no reason to worry unless your life is adversely affected by your high sex drive. In fact, lots of people would kill for that level of horniness!
What is libido?
Libido is sex drive — a person’s overall desire for sexy time. Someone can be plenty turned on without actually wanting to have sex. Lots of different factors affect whether or not people want to be sexual. Hormones that influence libido include androgens, estrogen, progesterone, oxytocin and vasopressin. Testosterone is the ruler of sex drive hormones; so if you have low t levels, your libido will also be low. Although men have larger amounts of testosterone than women, this by no means indicates that all men are always hornier. Oxytocin, the “bonding hormone” released when we are intimate with another person, is also thought to influence our desire for sex. Psychological factors — such as stress level, depression, exhaustion and pre-existing traumas — play a role in libido levels too.
Highs & Lows
If you’re in your 20s, that might explain why your sex drive is very high. At this age, estrogen, progesterone and testosterone productions are through the roof as the body prepares itself for reproduction. For people who ovulate, libido will be particularly high just before ovulation — very helpful for evolution, since people are more likely to seek out sex during this time.
People with penises tend to be hornier the longer it has been since they last ejaculated. Many people recommend aphrodisiacs (foods rumored to raise sex drive) to increase sexual desires, but no studies have proven a connection between food and libido. However, regularly eating foods that increase circulation — such as salmon, strawberries, blueberries, asparagus, beans, legumes and other antioxidant-rich foods — can improve blood flow to the genitals and therefore libido. In fact, anything that improves circulation will increase libido, including exercise. Spending a little time at the Southeast Recreational Facility every week can increase confidence, build muscle for better contractions during orgasm and improve blood flow to the genitals.
Lots of things can lower libido. Psychological factors such as lack of privacy, stress, exhaustion, distraction, depression and trauma may decrease sexual desire. Any issue or illness hindering testosterone production will hurt libido. Being underweight can disrupt normal hormone production and therefore libido. Smoking and alcohol abuse also disturb hormonal balances, resulting in a lower libido. Medications that lower libido include hormonal contraception (ironic, huh?), antidepressants, antipsychotics, opioids and beta-blockers. If your medication affects sex drive, let your doctor know so that you can explore alternatives or solutions together.
Not everyone has a libido — asexual folks lack a sex drive entirely. As long as you are comfortable with your sex drive, there is no need to change it. But do not hesitate to talk to a doctor about libido; just because it is a sexual problem does not mean that you have no right to be concerned.
Hump Day on the elusive, infrequent nature of female orgasms
How can it cloud our judgement?
Sex drive may affect decision-making. Arousal sure does. In a study conducted by Ariely and Lowenstein (2005), participants (notably all male undergraduates presumed to be heterosexual) were more attracted to potential sexual activities. These prospective actions included activities considered deviant, risky and even harmful to others. So further research is definitely needed, but sex definitely sounds better to most horny people, of course. It really depends on how you handle your sex drive. Higher libidos may motivate people to pursue behaviors that get them laid.
But a high sex drive should not cause anyone to do harm … and usually will not. Sex and the motivation for it, if experienced positively, can produce joy, intimacy, satisfaction and understanding of desires, fantasies and even bodies. We exist in a sex-negative society which often causes people to feel ashamed of perfectly normal thoughts and preferences. Plus, a high sex drive gives plentiful opportunities to masturbate (vibrators, anyone?) and share intimate experiences with others. Celebrate sexuality, y’all.
Are there specific topics you have questions about or are just interested in? Do you have a question about your own sex life or relationships that you would like me to answer (anonymously or not)? Email me at [email protected]!
