⚠️Time to BeReal. ⚠️ While emerging social giant BeReal begins getting the traditional social media corporate baddies/gorpcore treatment that is par for the course of emerging social networks, yelling “IT’S TIME TO BE REAL” in the middle of College Library still seems chic somehow. But, when does BeReal become the next HQ or Wordle? Who’s to say? Let’s enjoy it while it lasts. Anyway, here are the worst places to BeReal.

1. The Danny’s line during a snowstorm

We all know the tiny tank tops and no coat in the winter look. It was how we lived as underclassmen because where were we to put our coats? Risk the dingy corner or the lone washing machine? Of course not. However, this “omg, girls don’t wear any coats” discourse is tired and overdone. If you happen to be in the unfortunate position of waiting in line at Danny’s Pub and it starts snowing, the last thing you want to do is show the niche 40 people you have on BeReal that your toes are turning purple and your mascara is running even before you get to the point of drunk tears. 

2. The suffocating bottleneck into section O on a game day

Scary, scary times in that tunnel. It stenches of stale beer and Svedka while hundreds of belligerent students try to file in as fast as they can, each making an individual and indestructible chain link of friends. The last friend is simultaneously getting their shoulder popped out of its socket while being bodied by the guy wearing Badgeralls and nothing else behind them. Bad time to BeReal. 

3. The Red Shed outhouse bathroom

This pick is for the general public because I personally love this place. I willingly go into Red Shed just to use that bathroom. No drink bought. No pool played. That room transports me to another universe, decorated by the campy outhouse icons on the outside in blunt contrast to the stark fluorescent light of that very, very small single-stall bathroom. I understand for others this might not be the best time for a dual-camera selfie.

4. A cage in Memorial Library

There is nothing to show in this BeReal but a desolate tin and steel cage that slowly beats at one’s sanity like a slow, but ever-present, woodpecker. No one knows true isolation until they are in one of those cages for 12 hours. It’s not all bad though — this BeReal could catch a mental breakdown on candid camera, which could be interesting in the feed.

Moral of the story: Sometimes it’s good to BeFake.