As final season befalls us and the promise of summer continues its playful tease, those of us who are leaving Madison for the season can’t help but reflect on the gems of this city we may not be able to do without — and maybe some we can handle being away from.
The campus turkey
: Galloping behind that furry little wing lizard through the streets of Madison to get that well-groomed wattle on your Snapchat story.
: Chasing that feather bug through the streets of Madison to get that shithead on your Snapchat story because dammit, all your friends could do it so why can’t you.
Bascom Hill
: The brisk jog down the ever-dazzling Bascom Hill as the beads of sweat on your face dry in the cool breeze and you strut confidently, homeward bound.
: The defeated stumble down Bascom as the beads of sweat on your face trail backward into your hair and you pant your way back to the smelly dorm that was 13th on your list.
Your roommates
: Coming downstairs to five of your closest friends laughing in the kitchen, scrambling eggs and seeing you off to your day with warm hugs and words of loving encouragement.
: Coming downstairs to the five people your idiotic former self agreed to sign a lease with, spilling yolk on the counter you literally just cleaned last night and passive-aggressively slamming the fridge door after stealing some of your milk, but incidentally not writing the check for the gas bill they’ve owed you for two months.
Learn@UW (when it works)
: The feeling of overwhelming success washing over you like a fresh rain on a summer day after refreshing Learn@UW nine times and, at long last, seeing the red dot pop up on the “Grades” icon like Gatsby’s green light.
: The agony that strikes like a ton of cement bricks to the face after refreshing Learn@UW nine times only to remember the red dot signals the gateway to the impeding downfall of your GPA.
Game days
: Waking up at 7 a.m. to begin game day festivities with your floormates and a 30-rack, and enjoying warm mornings of dancing and pretzels in the stadium under the sun.
: Allowing the devil to wake you up at 7 a.m. to begin destroying your liver and other miscellaneous organs until your limp body melts to the group and “Jump Around” echoes in the distance as you slip away.
Strolls down Library Mall
: Full immersion in the life and energy of Library Mall, breathing in the colorful scents of striking food carts and enthusiastic students sharing affection and meals in anticipation of the upcoming revival of the Memorial Union Terrace.
: Increasing your chances of contracting lung cancer when inhaling anywhere between six to 10 ounces of sawdust on a simple stroll from the University Book Store to Memorial Union.
Sledding down Bascom on trays during the winter
: Hey there, champ — frostbite isn’t so bad if you’re with your best buds!
: “Hey there, champ — you don’t need gloves!” said your brainless friends.
Living on an isthmus
: Knowing that on the days you can’t find a spot alongside one lake to bask in the sun and tread water, there’s always another equally as wet and crystalline one to try.
: Knowing that you can’t say the word “isthmus.”
