If you are accustomed to reading the words “Clementine Patterson added 2 photos in NEW UW Madison Sublet and Roommate Board” several times over the course of a day, and each time experience despair and panic bubbling in the very pit of your stomach, you are probably one of the several thousand University of Wisconsin students who is still telling their parents, “Yeah I’m pretty close to finding a subletter for the summer.”

You dirty liar.

Spending the spring begging strangers online to live in a dirty college court slum with your three roommates and a leaky ceiling is no easy task.

As the panic begins to set in and the light of hope begins to dim, make sure you’ve capitalized on our best tips on successfully subletting your place.

Read your frickin’ lease

Before checking with your landlord, be careful not to assume you’re legally permitted a subletter. In many cases, even if it is allowed, the landlord may need to approve, meaning the proposed tenant could have to provide proof they are financially capable and reliable. And it’s probably better that you collect that anyway — a tenant who refuses to produce financial records and promises he or she will Venmo you $600 a month should raise a red flag.

Chat with your frickin’ roommates

Do they have a preference in gender of roommate? Age? Profession? Perhaps they will have to mull it over if you bring them the 49-year-old cashier from Get Some Burritos. Transparency will save you time and effort — don’t waste precious moments scouting out a subletter your roommates will never sign off on.

Also if you’re subletting your place and your roommates don’t even know that by now, you are definitely the shitty roommate and have been so for the duration of the year. Shame on you.

Lower your rent by 20 to 30 percent, but not more

You aren’t getting every penny of your rent, which you probably already knew. But as summer approaches it becomes increasingly tempting to scream out “PRICE NEGOTIABLE!” in your Facebook post. Keep in mind that while severely underpricing your apartment will certainly draw attention, it might not be from the crowd you’re willing to take legal responsibility for.

A sublet is not the same as a lease transfer — trouble caused by your tenant means trouble you answer for. While the “something is better than nothing” attitude prevails when it comes to eating scraps of pizza and dating bums from Tinder, it absolutely will not when it comes to subletting your place.

Gently unhinge yourself from the UW-Madison Facebook group and enter the realm of the Real Internet

Though there is nothing wrong with NEW UW-Madison Sublet and Roommate Board, it doesn’t take an economics major to tell you the sheer amount of supply as compared to the mediocre demand does not make for a highly successful environment when it comes to subletting your place.

Craigslist, Sublet, Trulia, UW Sublets and Claz.com are all equally safe and reliable options for your sublet posting that students often forget about. You can never include enough information.

Your place probably sucks, but pretend it doesn’t

Given that nearly every post reads the same — “Subletting the PERFECT bedroom for the summer … there are granite countertops … PERFECT DISTANCE FROM STATE STREET” — very few offers stand out.

Make sure that your post, be it on Facebook or Craigslist, offers something unique. Many people assume this has to be a shocking price, but it can also be finer details like additional amenities in the building, security, a balcony, walk-in closets or even your cute roommate Shelly. Don’t overwhelm potential tenants with perks, but don’t forget to mention a single freebie.

Make certain that you’ve exhausted all personal connections

Of the 1,031 friends you have on Facebook, it seems unlikely not a single one of them, or any of their friends, knows anybody searching for affordable and reliable housing for the summer. Before posting on any group or website, post straight to your Facebook page, and then do it again and again. You haven’t done enough until at least 300 kids from your high school have unfriended you.

No one searching for a sublet has much interest in poring through 32 “messaged!” comments and clicking through offers that are, at the end of the day, indistinguishable from each other. A monogamous relationship between a prospective subletter and seller is far more likely to be quick and painless.

Keep your apartment at least partly furnished

Would you rather take your loveseat home or save $1,800?

Yeah, me too. Advertising your apartment as fully or partially furnished is sure to pick up steam, and is something most people forget to mention.

Face the fact you may not be ditching your utilities bill anytime soon

As the finish line draws near, you might realize it’s time to bite your tongue and type out those two little words — “utilities included.” Tenants on the brink between your apartment and another will be sure to lean right into you.

Ask for a security deposit

If you’ve found a subletter, the new challenge is ensuring they are responsible enough to maintain your apartment. Asking for the deposit gives you something of a safety net and sets the stage for a positive relationship with your tenant. It doesn’t hurt to write your own sublease with the tenant — you might never need a written document, but it won’t ever hurt to have one.

And if worst comes to worst, Air BnB will never fail.