Anyone who continues to refute the claim that America is the land of opportunity is not up to date on Slurpee happenings.

Friday and Saturday, Madison’s 7-Eleven — alongside many across the nation — will be celebrating its iconic Slurpee’s 50th birthday with Bring Your Own Cup Day. Ironically, loyal Slurpee customers participating in the festivities probably won’t live to see their own 50th birthday after a lifetime of purchasing this syrupy concoction ripe with more than 15 teaspoons of sugar.

Much like these stunning United States, BYOC Day has few limitations. As long as the container has a width no greater than 10 inches (no specifications on limits for height) and is food safe (put the industrial trash can down), 7-Eleven will graciously accept $1.50 in exchange for as many liters of Slurpee you can manage.

So if you’re looking for lunch, a mixer or Type 2 diabetes, your search is over. Without a doubt the greatest beverage deal on campus, 7-Eleven has reestablished itself as the god of convenience stores, committed to quality products and lending you a helping hand in preparing your spring break bod right in time for Panama City Beach. Plus, if you really think about it — like, really think about it — the Slurpee isn’t much different from the juice cleanses next door at Forage Kitchen, for a mere fraction of the cost and at least triple the fun.

You’ve got a day or two to brainstorm. Grab the empty gallon of milk your housemate has been swearing she’ll take out for more than a week. Thoroughly rinse that empty 1.75L handle of Svedka (or leave it a quarter full, no one’s watching). While your roommate is sleeping, swipe his laundry bag. And prepare to take a field trip to the best day of your life.

A previous version of this article implied Type 1 diabetes can be contracted through dietary habits. The article has since been edited for accuracy. The Badger Herald regrets this error.