OK, enough already. Put away the Ben & Jerry’s, wash your face and if you don’t want to change out of the same sweatpants you’ve been wearing since last Thursday, at least rinse off the macaroni stains.
Let’s just say it out loud: Being single on Valentine’s Day sucks.
But if you’re lucky enough to live in Madison, you might not be as lonely as you thought — the city makes for an outstanding date. Below are some smashing ideas for a wonderfully single weekend you can embark on with your best friends, your roommate, your floormates you actually really dislike, your dog or just your fly self.
Madison Winter Fest
Located on Capitol Square, the 2016 Madison Winter Fest runs both Saturday and Sunday of Valentine’s weekend, and you’ll want all the time you can get.
Free sledding, cross country skiing and ice sculpting all promise to keep you and friends entertained. Yes, there will likely be one too many couples milling around, but with any luck, they’ll bring their obnoxious kids and you’ll remember how grateful you are to be riding — and sledding — solo.
Admission: Free
Madison Polar Plunge for Special Olympics
Have you ever been immersed in feelings of deep sadness and loneliness and thought, “the only way this could get worse is if I were submerged in subzero ice water?” Then it’s your lucky day.
Join more than 1,000 citizens of Madison for a Polar Plunge Saturday. You may not have a body to cuddle you back to warmth, but you can always cuddle the six-figure donation check — last year, the Plunge raised more than $340,000 for Madison Special Olympics. But if 98.6 degrees is more of your thing, don’t let a fantastic volunteer opportunity pass you by.
Admission: Free
Arboretum Walk: Life in Winter
Who knew you could find love right in front of your own eyes? On campus, this hour and a half walk through campus is free and open to the public. Cry if you want to, but you may as well do it crunching through the snow instead of munching on donut holes (or do both … definitely do both).
Admission: Free
Discover the art of love at the Chazen
Let the Chazen Museum of Art sweep you off your feet 2 p.m. Valentine’s Day. With cookie decorating for the strong, cookie scrounging for the weak and a museum tour for all, this festive afternoon is sure to make you smile at least once, maybe twice. Bet your friends won’t get to bury their relationship dissatisfaction with modern art.
Plus, who knows what kind of perfect soulmate you might find brooding at the craft table.
Admission: Free
Henry Vilas Zoo – ‘Will ZOO be Mine’ event and Arctic Passage exhibit
Warm up that chilly heart at the new Arctic Passage at Madison’s highly acclaimed Henry Vilas Zoo. Conveniently located off Randall Street on the west side of Madison, this free exhibition runs daily, featuring bears, both polar and grizzly, harbor seals and a wide assortment of wintery buddies to remind you how much you love not having to pay for overpriced heart-shaped chocolate.
And if you’re willing to throw money, for $40 the zoo is offering you the best day of your life. Why would you want a human date when you could have a baby leopard instead?
The price may seem steep, but your ticket includes complimentary wine and cheese sampling, zoo trivia and a gift to take home to show off to your friend who got a tacky bracelet she’ll wear once and then accidentally lose. It’s sure to be the Valentine’s Day of a lifetime.
Arctic Admission: Free
Will Zoo Be Mine Admission: $37-$43
Cave of the Mounds
If you’re going to hole up, you might as well do it in a cave outside of the one you made of blankets. Cave of the Mounds is a stunning national landmark only one zip code away that offers fossil specimens and vibrant crystal walkways sure to outshine your roommate’s lame date at Olive Garden.
Admission: $17
Skating at the Edgewater
With ceiling-to-floor Valentine’s decor and full mugs of hot cocoa, this is no escape from the rhythm of love, making Valentines at the Edgewater the perfect spot to get in the spirit if you’re more mature about being single than I am.
V-day is about more than just romance — grab a friend you love and rent a pair of skates for a price you’ll love more. Maybe if you cry enough you can rent for free, but probably not.
Admission: $6 plus $3 rental
“Wisconsin Goes Hollywood” at the Wisconsin Historical Museum
From 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Feb. 13 and 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Feb. 14, the Historical Museum will be featuring a special exhibit on Wisconsin in Hollywood, including actors, costumes, scripts and video clips centered around Wisconsin in pop culture. If you’re a film or history student, you’re bound to fall in love.
Admission: Free
ICCA Great Lakes Quarterfinal
The International Championship of Collegiate A Cappella, hosted Feb. 13 in Mosse Humanities, is sure to deliver more than half a dozen stunningly talented a cappella teams from across the Midwest, including Madison’s very own Pitches and Notes.
With the student discount, the tournament falls well within the range of affordability and promises to be a memorable alternative to watching One Tree Hill in bed. Besides, if you go, you won’t spend $15 on Madison Sweets Delivery.
Admission: $15
Stay in your room and listen to Marvin’s Room
Let’s not beat around the bush anymore. That’s where I’ll be. Admission is free, you just have to promise not to change the song.
