Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald

Independent Student Newspaper Since 1969

The Badger Herald


Craps on campus: Scatological ecstasy at Agricultural Hall

The Herald’s guide to the best (and worst) spots to poop on campus
Patrick Ronan

Coordinates: [43.076, -89.412]

Altitude: 10 meters above sea level

Madison is peppered with century-old buildings and historical landmarks, some of which have been standing since the university’s creation in 1848. While the age of these Wisconsin relics give classrooms and halls a unique sense of history and tradition, the ravages of time can also render older bathrooms nearly unusable. But 112-year-old Agricultural Hall is an exception, as it is home to one of the best places to crap on campus.


Craps on campus: Poop your way through time at Wisconsin Historical Society

The building’s bathroom is a spacious sanctuary. Containing six stalls and six urinals, there is no shortage of commodes in this old-world paradise. The walls show off a myriad of mustard yellow and beige bricks, shining as though they were brand new. A slight chemical odor may make you bite your tongue at first, but this pungent smell is infinitely better than the stench of runny, beer-infused feces found at other bathrooms around campus.

Craps on campus: The stool sanctuary of Steenbock Memorial Library

Possibly the best part about the bathroom is that just outside the entrance are three massive vending machines fully loaded with snacks and drinks of your liking. This allows a user to execute the fabled “munch n’ poo” maneuver, an achievement as enchanting as it is socially unacceptable.

The Agricultural Hall bathrooms are a perfect example of how to maintain the historical feel of a building while embracing the marvels of modern sanitation practices. The observation of proper commode hygiene is something many other campus buildings need to replicate (looking at you, Humanities).

Patrick Ronan/The Badger Herald


Traffic: Empty throughout day

Temperature: Warm and cozy

Stalls: Six

Cell Service: Good for both wifi and cellular data

Graffiti: None

Toilet Flush Mechanism: Manual lever

Toilet Paper: Sturdy one-ply sheets

Sinks: Three manual faucets

Hand Dryers: Air dryers only

Overall Rating: 4.75/5

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