COORDINATES: [43º 4′ 15″ N, 89º 23′ 54″ W]
ALTITUDE: 263 meters above sea level
Nobody likes exercising on a full colon. At the Southeast Recreational Facility, colloquially known as the SERF, you don’t have to. Aspiring bodybuilders, yogis and basketball champions alike can avail themselves to the locker room bathrooms. Although functional, they are hardly a gratifying user experience.
Using these commodes is far from a rewarding affair. Rust lines the edges of the stall dividers, flaking off onto the beige tile floor below. A droning fluorescent light bathes the room in a sickly yellow light, accentuating the jaundiced color palette that unites the tiles and stall walls. An overenthusiastic flushing mechanism splashes users with small droplets of their recently-departed excretions, which although sentimental is generally unwanted.
With the buzzing of the lights above combined with the throbbing hum of what is either a heating duct or the pool plumbing systems, the SERF restrooms seem like they belong in a World War II-era submarine.
SPECIFICS
Traffic: Generally desolate, suffers during 5 p.m. gym rush
Temperature: Warm, moist air due to proximity to pool
Stalls: Two
Cell Service: Adequate, wi-fi available
Graffiti: Some residue from stickers; nothing interesting
Toilet Flush Mechanism: Manual lever
Toilet Paper: Mercilessly thin 1-ply
Sinks: Two, manual faucets
Hand Dryers: Two terrible dryers that are about as effective as having a small dog exhale onto your hands
Overall Rating: 2/5
