Burn Notice (USA, Thursdays 9 p.m.)
Jeffrey Donovan stars in this action-comedy as Michael Weston, a spy who has been "burned," or dropped without warning by his government handlers. He finds himself stranded in Miami with no money, no identity, and turns to doing odd jobs that require his skills as a covert operative, all the while seeking information on who issued his mysterious "burn notice." Gabrielle Anwar (previously seen in HBO's "The Tudors") plays Michael's fiery ex-girlfriend, Fiona — a former IRA terrorist — who assists him with her myriad of bomb-making and weapons skills.
The show's quick-fire action is graced by Donovan's delightfully dry voiceover in which he gives spy tips, walking the viewer through such useful skills as surviving interrogation or assembling a homemade bomb. "Burn Notice" treats its clichéd subject matter with a healthy dose of whimsy, trading drama for humor and diffusing tense situations with Donovan's shit-eating grin. While the show depends almost entirely on the lead actor's charismatic performance, its modest plot is executed with a breezy style that makes for irresistible summer fun.
— Kate Price
Californication (Showtime, Mondays, 9:30 p.m.)
Bree Sharp, obsessed-fan-turned-one-hit-wonder turned-"artist"-turned-Top-1000-bottom-feeder, surely must be re-thinking her career path, now that David Duchovny has once again returned to the haze of almost-stardom. "Californication" is Showtime's hit new series about a middle-aged Hollywood wash-up who is lusted after by droves of younger (and sometimes teenage) women because, well, he looks like David Duchovny. Despite how obnoxious that sounds, you may need to watch it anyway.
The many, many problems with the premise of this show, from one of the dubious minds behind "Dawson's Creek, " (another show that can only be enjoyed with a heavy dose of irony) start with naming the main character "Hank Moody." As if it wasn't obvious enough from his many clichéd apathetic writer quips that he is the world-weary, blocked writer archetype. This all sometimes works, when the script realizes how ridiculous the thin premise is, and just bounces Hank from woman to waiting woman (in one scene knocking over his ex-wife's new husband's six-figure painting in the process). But given the modern distaste for pure comedies, "Californication" tries to turn its misogynistic hero into a tragic figure, and every dramatic scene makes the half-hour seem a lot longer than it should. But for those who still hum "Why Don't You Love Me?" in the shower, "Californication" may just be the new guilty pleasure.
— Tim Williams
Damages (FX, Tuesdays 9 p.m.)
Now that FX's flagship edgy drama, "Nip/Tuck," has spun itself into absurdity, the network presents another attempt at groundbreaking television with "Damages." Oscar-nominated actress Glenn Close stars as Patty Hewes, a ruthless, high-powered attorney who is involved in a legal death match with corrupt CEO Arthur Frobisher, portrayed by Ted Danson. The show also follows Rose Byrne's character Ellen, a young, impressionable lawyer newly hired by Patty for her connection to one of the case's key witnesses.
Each episode periodically flashes forward six months to show Ellen, covered in blood, being questioned for the murder of her fiancé. While these cryptic foreshadowings are intriguing the first few times, they become tired when the show's slow pace fails to reveal any further clues to the events leading up to Ellen's sorry fate. Only Glenn Close manages to save her character from being one-dimensional, blending together Patty's keen ability to use and manipulate people with her growing fear and vulnerability associated with the dangers of the case. Unfortunately, none of the acting talent can overcome dull writing and decidedly un-thrilling plot twists.
— Kate Price
Rock of Love with Bret Michaels (VH1, Sundays 8 p.m.)
Love can mean many things — long walks on the beach, candlelit dinners and twelve long-stemmed red roses. Conventionally, love does not mean competitions, stripper poles and dirt bike races for individual dates. But who said love must center around a knight in shining armor? Not VH1 and certainly not Bret Michaels.
Truth be told, this Poison frontman is more of a knight in black leather in this adaptation of ABC's "The Bachelor." "Rock of Love," a show that can only be described as sublimely trashilicious, follows Michaels as he searches for love in a gaggle of siliconed, tattooed, leopard-printed young women.
These rough-around-the-edges women breathe life into this show, whose formula has been tried and found guilty. Underdog Samantha, a tattoo-sleeved semi-poet, shows that sensitivity and old-fashioned values thrive in the rock star lifestyle. The show, of course, has its villains: Lacey, the scheming, fuchsia-haired PETA activist and Heather, the fried, dyed, and blown-to-the-side stripper are the hardened, boo-hissable contestants.
Yet, amid the dumpster diving and guitar shredding, Michaels himself manages to share his concerns and emotions with contestants and viewers. The Poison frontman makes it clear that love isn't about fine chocolates or perfectly primped hair; it's about honesty — and knowing the lyrics to "Every Rose Has Its Thorn," because that never hurts.
— Sarah Probst
Weeds (Showtime, Mondays 9 p.m.)
Despite this reviewer's general apathy to the "Desperate Housewives" dramedy format (see "Californication"), there stands tall and verdant one post-"American Beauty" television show whose double eye-roll-inducing premise (a suburban housewife making it big selling marijuana) never tires, and whose mixture of caustic wit, realism, slapstick and melodrama never hits a discordant note.
The second season of "Weeds" left viewers with a triple cliffhanger that seemed impossible to resolve, but creator Jenji Kohan and company deftly dissemble the tension in the first episode. Opening with an uninvited visit by a former Agrestic family to Nancy's Armenian standoff, the intensity evaporates into confusion, and hilarity ensues. In true "Weeds" form though, no one is left off the hook by the end of the brisk half-hour. The stakes and complex character development look to keep ramping up for years to come.
— Tim Williams
