This is the column where I answer your questions about a variety of movie-industry related topics, thus fulfilling the promise made to me by my Badger Herald editors that I can submit one column per semester where I am not obligated to write in complete sentences. It's kind of like the newspaper version of a clip show, but a little bit better, since all the material I cover is technically new. But not as good as a real column since I don't develop or explore a thesis in any depth. Trust me, it's a good time for all involved.

As always, these are real questions from real readers, although I've taken it upon myself to edit down some of the questions for content and clarity because, well, everybody deserves a good editor, even angry people who write to me at three in the morning.

Let's do this thing.

Explain Warner Brothers' decision to put all of the actors from "The Departed" up for Oscars in the Best Supporting Actor category. Seems to me that competing against Jack Nicholson is going to hurt any chance for DiCaprio and Matt Damon.

The Oscar campaign for "The Departed" boggles the mind. Look, Damon and DiCaprio are the leads for that movie, and they should be put up in the Best Actor category. Nicholson, Alec Baldwin, Mark Wahlberg and Martin Sheen should be pushed for Best Supporting Actor.

I understand what Warner Bros. is doing — by pushing the ensemble, they are clearly making a statement that they want the movie to be viewed as bigger than the sum of its considerable parts, which presumably should make it more viable in the Best Picture and Best Director categories, which historically tend to go to bigger ensemble pieces.

Here's my problem with this strategy: even though we're only in November, "The Departed" is totally in control when it comes to the early Oscar buzz. No other movie this year has been as well reviewed, and it's showing great legs at the box office (I wouldn't be surprised to see the distribution people at Warner Bros. keep the movie on many more than 1,500 screens through the new year). This just feels like a reactionary move. Look, Nicholson is a lock (whether or not he should be is subject of much debate), and DiCaprio has been getting great press for his performance (so has Damon, to a lesser extent). So why not push DiCaprio and Damon for Best Actor, especially since the field is so weak this year? The only lock looks to be Forest Whitaker for "The Last King of Scotland."

I actually think in the end, DiCaprio may have enough momentum to get a nomination in the Supporting Actor category. The one this really hurts is Mark Wahlberg, since he's basically been factored out of the equation. His performance really centered the movie — everybody from the East Coast knows somebody from Boston who resembles Wahlberg's Sgt. Dignam (the loyal, hot-tempered wiseass with an answer for everything). It was one of the most closely observed, finely tuned performances I've seen this year. And now he's got no chance.

This past weekend, "Borat" (850+ screens) grossed $26.4 million, while "The Santa Clause 3" (3,000+ screens) grossed $20 million. Is this the biggest coup in the modern box-office history?

Yes, without a doubt. The "Borat" numbers were absolutely stunning, especially considering all we've heard in recent weeks about how it was tracking soft, which compelled Fox to stagger the release of the film. Here's a little math to put this accomplishment in perspective: let's say that the average number of seats in the 850 theaters showing Borat is, I don't know, 400. This means the maximum amount of money a theater can make from a given showing (assuming an average ticket price of $8) is $3,200. Now, "Borat" is about 80 minutes long, so that means you get about six showings a day (I'm being generous and factoring in midnight screenings Thursday and late-night showings Friday and Saturday nights). So that's 18 showings a weekend, which means the maximum amount of money a single screen could pull in for the entire weekend would be $57, 600. Factor that over the 850 screens, and the absolute maximum the movie could have grossed would be $48.96 million. So, by grossing $26.4 million, this means every screening of "Borat" was 54 percent full. Considering the average screening of a film during any given weekend is less than a quarter full, I think we have to at least consider "Borat" the most astounding box office phenomenon this century. And the thing is, it's only going to do better next weekend (people I've talked to have projected that it will do anywhere from $25-32 million next weekend).

Curious to your thoughts about the new "Scarface" video game. Seeing as how you did devote almost 1,300 words to "The Godfather" game last spring and you seem to be a fan of all things Al Pacino.

I have a horrible confession to make — I haven't played the "Scarface" game yet. It's not that I don't want to. For me, it doesn't get much better than the combination of Pacino, the '80s and lots of digitally rendered men saying the word, "cocaína!" I just haven't had the time to fully immerse myself in Tony Montana's digitally pixelated world.

If there are any freshman guys out there reading this who are thinking, "There will never come a time when I will not be able to devote a week of my life to playing the 'Scarface' video game," all I can say is, I was in your position a year ago. I thought the days of Mario Kart tournaments, "Cash Cab" marathons and watching "Rounders" on cable six times a week would never end. But they do. This is why nobody should ever move out of his dorm or get a girlfriend without a full understanding of how these choices affect your time-wasting skills. Sure, you may end up with a more comfortable living space and find yourself in a stimulating relationship with someone whom you want to spend every waking moment with, but there are significant trade-offs. For example, Joe Paterno jokes that used to be greeted with a hearty laugh will now be met with a stoic "That's not funny." And you can forget about peppering conversation with references to "Commando." It's an adjustment period, to be sure.

I'm not trying to say that in the poker game of life, women are the rake, but these are things to be aware of. Now, with all of this being said, nothing is going to stop me from spending a week playing the "Heat" video game next year. Probably.

Ray Gustini is a sophomore majoring in English and journalism. Is there a movie question you need answered? E-mail Ray at [email protected].