Lady in the Water

by Mike Peters

M. Night Shyamalan's "Lady in the Water" is being marketed as "A Bedtime Story." Judging from the synopsis, it seems doubtful that this movie will make the audience want to fall asleep. The film centers on an apartment building superintendent, Cleveland Heep (Paul Giamatti, "Sideways"), who finds a woman (Bryce Dallas Howard, "The Village") in the pool. It turns out that she is a character from a bedtime story, and he decides to help with her journey back home.

With his previous films, Shyamalan has created the expectation of a twist ending. Perhaps the twist in this film will be that there is no twist. Unlikely, since to a writer, finding the perfect twist is like a baseball player hitting a home run. Once one succeeds, one wants to keep doing it. Now, it is a question of whether or not Shyamalan can hit this one out of the park. All he can do is swing away. Shyamalan, swing away.

Miami Vice

Ray Gustini

To the best of my knowledge, I have never seen an episode of "Miami Vice", which makes me an ideal candidate to watch the movie version of "Miami Vice," since Michael Mann has taken it upon himself to thoroughly purge his adaptation of any of the Reagan-era goofiness that over the past two decades turned his brainchild from cutting edge to just another relic from the culture wars. Gone are the synthesizer score, pet alligator and pastel suits: in their place, Mann ("Heat") brings his own aggressive, strip-downed film noir sensibilities. Is it going to work? Well, that depends how much faith you have that Mann is going to be able to overcome the curious decision to pair Colin Farrell and Jamie Foxx in the lead roles (can you imagine what it must have been like to film in Miami during the summer with those two guys?). Still, if the hyper-aggressive, hip-hop flavored teaser trailer is any indication, Mann, who managed to merge his pop sensibilities with nihilistic dread in both "Heat" and "Collateral", has hit another home run. This is the guy movie of the summer.

Dixie Chicks

"Except country." These are the notorious words that end innumerous lists of favorite music. But there are always exceptions. The Dixie Chicks have been steadily breaking down musical barriers for years, with lucrative results — the gals are the biggest-selling female band in history. Their fourth studio release, Taking the Long Way, will hit stores May 23 and the hype could not be greater. Ever since Natalie Maines's 15 infamous words sent shockwaves throughout conservative America three years ago, fans and critics alike have been anxiously anticipating the group's next move. With the unapologetic first single "Not Ready to Make Nice" already climbing the charts, all signs point to an album that is as equally political and autobiographical as it is musically innovative. The Chicks do not reinvent themselves, rather they experiment and transform. Their vocal intensity and instrumental expertise combine rock, pop, bluegrass and everything in between — the perfect ingredients for another original and intimate album.

Tom Petty Concert

Alice Merchant

Their greatest hits album contains no flaws. The remainder of their vast, yet undiscovered, repertoire showcases depth, diversity and raw musical endowment.

Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers rank with shaved ice and underagers drinking in porta-potties as Summerfest staples, as the boys were seen free fallin' their way to the Marcus Amphitheater four times in the last five years. And this year they'll accompany the Big Bang as the official festival opener June 29. But for those crazy few who would rather see the flashy fireworks than the band, have no fear — Tom and friends are making a weekend out of it and returning to perform on the 30th.

The band has been strumming together for over three decades, accumulating a diverse and constantly growing group of fans. Whether there for a dance with Mary Jane, a lesson in flying or just wanting to hear the ecstatic sound of some of the most underrated '70s rockers, the audience — sober, stoned or sh*tfaced — is going to have a blast.

And without the assistance of strobe lights or number one singles, Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers are guaranteed to deliver a concert at its purest, simplest and most delightful form.

Clerks II

Ryan Gauthier

Amid the hoopla that is the summer movie season, one little engine that could is rolling down the tracks once more. Kevin Smith is doing exactly what he said he wouldn't do — he's making another film featuring Jay and Silent Bob. The story goes that he promised Jason Mewes (Jay) he would do another J&SB film if he kicked his drug habit. He did and the film will hit theaters nationwide Aug. 18.

"Clerks II" stands as the first true sequel to any of Smith's prior films, picking up where "Clerks" left off some 10 years ago. Dante and Randall are forced to get new jobs after a disaster at Quickstop. The dynamic duo gets jobs at a local Mooby's and, as can be expected, hilarity ensues. Look for cameos from Smith favorites Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Ethan Suplee and newcomer Rosario Dawson. It may not be the prettiest film on the market, but it will likely be the wittiest.

Madonna

Naomi Fabe

The Queen of Pop is going on tour again! For all of the Madonna lovers out there, the Confessions Tour is a must. Her new CD, Confessions On a Dance Floor, is a continuation of her easy sing-a-long tracks with a more techno dance beats such in single, "Hung Up." The well-known walking controversy will bring with her tantalizing costumes and a diverse repertoire with classics and many new tracks of her latest album. When Madonna takes the stage she will surely live up to the standard of live performance she has built for herself over the years. This concert is a summer must for longtime fans and music lovers who just want to have a good time.

The Da Vinci Code

Emily Ouzts

The formidable duo of Ron Howard and Tom Hanks adapt Dan Brown's hugely popular mystery novel amidst swirling controversy and classic Hollywood hype. Starring Hanks as a globetrotting professor seeking to solve a mystery that could shake the very core of Christianity, "The Da Vinci Code" is poised to begin the summer 2006 movie season with blockbuster success. Opening May 19, the film arrives on the heels of both religious and literary scandals. Brown's 2003 novel garnered negative attention because of its alleged anti-Catholic sentiments, which the film is rumored to water down in order to appeal to broader audiences. The film's release has also allegedly been jeopardized due to Brown's recent embroilment in a U.K. copyright-infringement suit. Neither of these scandals seem to slow "The Da Vinci Code's" momentum, however, as the film's hype continues to build. Audiences can only hope that the thriller, also starring Audrey Tautou ("Amelie") as Hank's French sidekick and Ian McKellen ("Lord of the Rings" trilogy) as a villainous philosopher, lives up to its page-turning literary inspiration.

X-Men: The Last Stand

Emily Ouzts

The third installment in the comic book franchise, "X-Men: The Last Stand" promises more action, special effects and thrills from its beloved cast. In this sequel, the heroes are faced with the decision to take advantage of a cure that will relieve them of their deformities, but also do away with their superpowers. Hugh Jackman, Halle Berry and Ian McKellen reprise their super-mutant roles for the film, as does Rebecca Romijn in all her body-painted glory. The roster gets some new superheroes, too, with Kelsey Grammer and Ben Foster joining the cast as the electrifying Beast and the winged Angel. The question remains, however, whether or not this sequel will please comic book fans at the hands of new director Brett Ratner. But with comic book communities buzzing for "The Last Stand's" release since 2003's "X2: X-Men United," look for the film to be met with success when it opens May 26.

Snakes on a Plane

Alec Luhn

"Enough is enough. I've had it with the snakes."

So begins the trailer for the upcoming Samuel Jackson horror/thriller/action movie, Snakes on a Plane. A man like Samuel Leroy Jackson doesn't mess around, and it's clear from this opening line that moviegoers everywhere are in for a real treat when the film debuts on Aug. 18.

It's the ultimate summer flick — a movie that combines action, thrills and unintentional humor in one compact, snake-filled package.

Even as Jackson says the line, he's unpacking a handgun from his luggage. Now, in my opinion, it's not really a good idea to be shooting at small, writhing creatures inside a pressured tube at 35,000 feet. But who could resist seeing Jackson bring a little Mace Windu wrath down on the heads of a planeload of poisonous snakes?

One can only imagine the long hours of storyboarding and debate that surely preceded this movie: "Hey, snakes are scary. So are airplanes. Lets combine the two and make a movie about it with Samuel Jackson!"

But production wasn't quite that easy. At one point, New Line Cinema changed the name to the generic "Pacific Air Flight 121."

You can bet Jackson had something to say about that. "We're going back," he told Zap2it.com. "It's not 'Flight 121.' It's like, come on. You either want to see this movie or you don't. 'Snakes on a Plane.' There's no mystery to that."