It's no secret that there are a lot of horrible games that somehow see the light of day. Why titles like "50 Cent: Bulletproof" and "Superman 64" are unleashed upon the hapless masses of gamers is one of life's great mysteries. But for every vomit-worthy game to hit store shelves, there are countless quality titles with incredibly creative features — look no further than games like "Katamari Damacy" or "Guitar Hero."

But what happens when good games go bad? For the sheer number of "cool, new" features game companies try to sell to consumers, there are just as many that fall at the wayside. This week Nerd Alert takes a look back at some of the worst game modes and features in recent memory, with nauseating results. Game on.

Ryan:

"Metal Gear Solid: Snake vs. Monkey"

There's no doubt, I've always loved the "Metal Gear Solid" series. But it has always seemed like Hideo Kojima tries too hard to throw new game features into every title he releases. "Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater" is arguably the title he did the most experimentation on, throwing in the ability to feed Snake and play doctor when he gets boo-boos. And while these two features were a bit on the strange side, they pale in comparison to the worst game mode to ever appear in a "MGS" game: "Snake vs. Monkey."

For anyone who hasn't had the traumatizing experience that is "SvM," this mini-game pits Solid Snake against hordes of simian foes. Snake is equipped with various gadgets, which he uses to track the monkeys and, eventually, shoot them with his stun gun. These intense hunts take place in various settings from the "Snake Eater," forcing Snake to sprint around the jungle popping caps in chimps like a madman.

Combining "Metal Gear" with "Ape Escape" couldn't possibly have seemed like a good idea at any point in development, making this one of the more mind-numbing choices by Konami. Worse yet, with the impending release of "Metal Gear Solid 3: Subsistence" in a couple of weeks comes even more of this gaming madness. Konami apparently didn't catch wind that the mini-game sucked the first time, as they are including even more (hooray!) maps for players to hunt monkeys on. Please, Konami, make it stop.

Sundeep:

"FMVs" in "Zelda: Wand of Gamelon"

For those of you Nerd Alert fans who saw our earlier piece reviewing "Zelda: The Complete Animated Series," you might remember with what passion I despised that foul attempt to exploit Nintendo's masterpiece. However, I forgot to mention another "Zelda" attempt that also went mind-numbingly wrong.

As always, if Nintendo is not in complete control of a "Zelda" game, then everything goes to hell. In this case, "Zelda: Wand of Gamelon" was the result of an agreement between Philips and Nintendo, after Nintendo decided not to install CD-ROM features into its SNES. Instead, Philips traded the opportunity to create three "Zelda" games for its own system, the Philips CD-i. You might not remember the CD-i. Frankly, neither do I, and there's probably good reason for that.

Anyway, "Gamelon" featured a slightly better graphical version of the "Zelda" series at the time and a pretty ridiculously stupid storyline. However, where it really bit the dust was with the 'full motion videos' or FMVs. If you thought the Zelda animated series was bad, you're not even close. The FMVs basically feature horribly animated (think "Captain Planet," but 10,000 times worse) accompanied by even more horrible voice acting (think Saturday morning PBS specials for kids). It's enough to make you bludgeon yourself with your shoe.

Worse, the videos pretty much suck the life out of the characters and the story. Link is portrayed (and given a voice!) almost identically with Robin from the Adam West "Batman" days. Every second you wait for him to say something alarmingly unclear like, "Holy flaming cats in the street, Batman!" There's a good reason why you don't give Link a voice. Wow, that's bad.

Ryan:

"Free-roam" mode in "The Getaway"

"The Getaway" was arguably one of the most underrated titles to grace the Playstation 2. With its cinematic flair, quality voice-acting and intense action, it was basically the British version of "Grand Theft Auto," minus the freedom. While some questioned the linear storyline of the title, it was still a great game for the most part. I'll never forget the mission where you have to raid the crack house — talk about an intense experience.

But for everything "The Getaway" got right, it fell short in a few ways. The targeting was somewhat questionable, and the camera wasn't quite up to snuff. But perhaps the biggest shortcoming of the British thriller was its hidden "free-roam" mode.

Upon completion of the game, players were granted access to the secret mode, which basically enabled them to tool around London in a sweet ride. But where "Grand Theft Auto" crafted a sort of sandbox city that encouraged gamers to interact with anything and everything, this mode is little more than a cheap way to extend the replay value of the game. Players have a few options: drive a car, steal a car, beat up random people and … well, that's really about it.

Unless people have an incredible desire to hoof it around London for hours on end, there are few redeeming qualities of this half-baked mode. Probably the worst part of it all, though: You can't even enter buildings. After getting my hopes up for what could've been a sweet reward for playing through an otherwise great game, Team SOHO needed little more than a kick in the pants; a posh, British kick in the pants.

Sundeep:

"Gangster/Urban/Rapper games"

So, in trying to pick among the many video game features and modes I truly despised, I began to realize that many were actually coming from the same game in different forms. Yes, the not-elusive-enough "gangster-urban-rapper" game has begun a full frontal assault on the minds and fingers of kids and adults alike.

Most of them pretty much play on the deserved success of the "Grand Theft Auto" series. However, games like "50 Cent: Bulletproof," "True Crime: New York City" and "The Getaway" are just cheap attempts to make games in which you can break the law with repercussions. I mean if you're really desperate to commit crimes, I guess you could play these games and be OK. But, I like to think most people are not out looking to commit homicides and theft, and would probably prefer to play games with some decent texture. "Grand Theft Auto" has texture. "50 Cent: Bulletproof" is the spawn of Satan.

Of course, not all crime games in recent years are crap. Many have been looking to the new spray-paint tagging game, "Marc Ecko's Getting Up." You get to climb big heights, tag some buildings and run from the cops. All around fun, I'm sure. Still, it seems a bit like the same-old, same-old.

What would be great is a game where aliens eat rappers for exploiting their image too much. Huge aliens.

Ryan ([email protected]) and Sundeep ([email protected]) are hopelessly addicted to video games. Sundeep doesn't understand why Ryan keeps laughing at "Marc Ecko's Getting Up." Ryan is trying to give "Blitz: The League" an honest chance, but just can't get past how horrible the game play is.