Awww… Remember in high school when you used to instant message your crush and talk for hours on-line after school because you were too nervous to call him or her? Notice how now we're more than 20 years old and some of us still can't talk on the phone?

Between text messaging, instant messenger and the Facebook, people can get away with hardly ever physically communicating with members of the opposite sex. It may be the worst idea ever to allow the bad habits of instant messenger to travel into a portable device. You don't even need to talk to someone if you want to hook up with them … or break up with them.

It is very loud in bars and text messaging is a convenient way to find someone when you're out at night, but when you hear a familiar beep at 2 a.m., check your cell phone screen and see "Wanna bang bang?" you have to wonder what the world has come to.

I have a friend who knew a guy — "Text Boy" — whose only method of contact with her was through text messaging. Now admit it, thirty-minute conversations of texting, not talking, can get pretty ridiculous. It may seem like a subtle way of contacting your new love interest, but people are supposed to text because they are too busy to call — a one paragraph response requires much more time and effort than hitting send and opening your mouth. You might be cute at first, "Text Boy," but soon your messages will get old, my friend.

"I had a serious conversation with Text Boy last night," she told me. "It was serious… but it was on text." Although his actions were good for a few laughs, the ridiculousness of the situation definitely deserves comment.

Text messaging is a painless way of communicating for both sides of a conversation. If a real answer is what you're looking for, an unreturned phone call says more than an unreturned text message. It's too easy for someone to "oops" not read your message if they're not interested anymore, without letting you know. This way, an unreturned message just means the other person didn't receive your original. There's no way they wouldn't text you back, right? Wrong. This reminds me of high school again.

Message to texters: grow some balls and give your thumbs a rest.

A good old phone call scores more points than a text message. Based on his track record, it's not too promising "Text Boy" is going to have anything substantial to say without his cell phone glued to his hand, fingers going to town on the keypad. On the plus side, he might have some hidden talent with his thumbs.

I don't blame the text-obsessed, though. Phone companies constantly advertise text messaging for users' convenience. Cingular and T-Mobile have ridiculous ads stating "Sometimes it's easier to communicate quietly" and "Make your point without making a sound." Catherine Zeta-Jones deceives us into thinking it's sexy to read a message instead of listen to one. The best, or worst depending how you look at it, is Sprint's "Connect without all the talking." It sounds like the tagline for drunken sex.

Text messaging is often called "easy" and "discreet," but I think it is pretty obvious what someone is doing when their head is down and their fingers are moving frantically across their number pad during class. It takes talent to make texting discreet, and unless you've mastered the behind-the-back-while-I'm-handcuffed-and-on-my-way-to-jail text messaging, then you have not mastered the ways of the cell phone.

When I do use text messaging, mainly when I'm in a dark bar holding my phone up to the light and trying to drunkenly spell out words by pressing small buttons, I don't think I look very discreet.

"Dammit! How do you spell a-bar?"

I'm not very quiet either, plus all that squinting and thinking when I could just as easily hit the call button and actually talk to someone.

So maybe text messaging wasn't meant to be used by drunken cell phone customers… Or was it? Because although text messaging should not be the only form of communication when trying to make it happen with someone, there are some fun things you can do with text messages that will score some points… or at least some laughs.

Even with the lame advertisements, Sprint and Cingular must have caught on to the real purpose of text messaging — booty calls! Sprint has an option for video messaging. So if you and your lover have camera phones and are trying to meet up with each other later, get creative — "Wanna bang bang?" followed by a video of you at your current drunken state is much more entertaining than plain text.

Think of the possibilities… a mini-documentary of another guy trying to pick you up at the bar ("Aren't you jealous?"), a music video of you on the dance floor ("I'm so hot right now!"), or a montage of you taking four shots ("I'm not going to remember sending this to you!"). Try to avoid a Paris Hilton-type incident though — videos can be forwarded to other people.

For those who want to keep their options open, Cingular explains the idea of "group messaging" on its website. Is it really possible to text "Wanna bang bang?" to all the females in your phone and see who responds first? Amazing!

Whether you're out at the bars or bored in class, a drunk and dirty text or a morning booty call will make everyone's day a little brighter.

But when you're seriously trying to get closer to someone, don't be pulled in by the ads that ask, "Does multitasking create communication problems for you? Text messaging is the answer." When T-Mobile says, "It’s the way to say what you want that doesn’t require talking," remember that it's also lazy, impersonal and lame. Want to go on a date with someone? Remember that good-old fashioned phone call? Now is the time to use it — and your thumb won't be sore when you're done.

Aubre is a senior double majoring in journalism and communication arts. She likes text-messaging, but only for funny booty call messages. She can be reached at [email protected].