Ladies, if you are looking for a man, let me suggest the Red Shed. The guy-to-girl ratio is about five to one, and you’ll find men of all types. There are bikers, locals, guys in baseball caps, dudes in cargo pants circa 1999, and of course, the occasional preppy college boy. And by the way, after a few of the bar’s famous Long Island iced teas, you just know they are out for a little nookie.

The atmosphere creates the feeling that the Red Shed is a slightly out of place in the urban setting of downtown Madison. In some ways, it feels rural, much like a northern Wisconsin bar during the opening weekend of deer season.

The physical characteristics of the bar only add to its down-home country ambiance.

The exterior of the bar is red, accented by an awning with vertical red-and-white stripes. On the top of the building is an old covered wagon, the idea of a previous owner. I have heard a few tales of amorous patrons venturing up to the roof for a shag in the wagon.

Dark, long, and somewhat cavernous, the interior of the bar is paneled with reddish wooden planks that actually came from an old barn. Wooden beams run across the ceiling. Based on the combination of the red color outside, and the abundance of wood inside, it is easy to see how the bar got its name.

Although rustic, the bar is a welcome and rowdy escape from the norm. One look around, and you can tell that people come here to have a good time without any sort of pretension.

High spirits are naturally reinforced with good, strong drinks, for which the Red Shed is famous. Long Island iced tea is the bar’s specialty. Coming in three sizes, consisting of the “Shorty,” the “Medium,” and “The Real Deal”, these are serious drinks. Priced at $3, $4, and $5 respectively, the drinks are as tasty as they are potent.

Although the same beverage, the variation of drink sizes is a unique twist. The “Shorty” is not for professional drinkers, but rather “For the Tourist” as the sign in the bar suggests.

The “Medium” is more standard in size. The grand-daddy of all drinks, however, is definitely “The Real Deal.”

Served in a mammoth glass Mason jar, one is enough to kick-start your evening. Two might be enough to rock your world. After three, you are either getting your ass kicked or looking to kick someone’s ass. This is one serious drink!

Other beverages are of course available, but I would not be caught dead ordering a martini or cosmopolitan in this bar. Not to worry, the bartenders are excellent at mixing staples such as Captain and Coke or gin and tonic.

Beer is always popular, and the bar features a wide selection. Roughly 10 beers are on tap, and the domestic and import choices are impressive. Still, I feel more at home here with a $2.75 Pabst than anything else.

As one might expect, women do get a lot of attention in this bar. Last Friday, the Miller Lite girls were fan favorites, with many men vying for their attention. Across the room, it was not unusual to see the long-distance hit on, or hear the standby pick up line, “Haven’t I seen you somewhere before?”

Meat market or not, the Red Shed is a good time. With Halloween weekend finally upon us, I am certain the party will be as kickin’ as it always has since the bar opened in 1969.

Bartime will take a walk down the Eastside with a visit to Mickey’s Tavern, tonight, Friday, November 1. Mickey’s is located at 1524 Williamson St. Cheers!