Let the newest edition to Chuck Palahniuk’s twisted world of noir and gore be a warning to those who seek the life of fame and glamor.
In classic Palahniuk style, “Tell All” weaves together a story of a beautiful drug and fame-addled actress in the time of black and white Hollywood with hints of “Frankenstein” and the “Portrait of Dorian Gray.”
The story follows the fictional actress Katherine Kenton and is told from the point of view of her caretaker, Hazie Coogan, who views the crumbling actress as her own creation. While Hazie tends to Katherine’s upkeep, making her the idyllic image of the perfect woman and movie star, she simultaneously molds Katherine into an emotionally crippled woman-child, unable to see past herself and bound in the public’s opinion. While trying to craft an angel, Hazie also makes her own monster.
As Hazie cares for “her Miss Kathie” like a doll, tending to Katherine’s every need and want , the unwed and childless Katherine searches for a way to fill the hole her fading stardom is digging. This includes baby shopping, which entails matching unwanted infants to drapes and furniture to make sure they color coordinate with her home.
What may strike the reader’s eye more than the glittery cover is Palahniuk’s formatting experiment: bolding the names of old movie stars, some forgotten and some which still have a tenuous grasp on Hollywood memories. The names pop out on the page, a testimony to the savage gossip and name-dropping Katherine, as well as other movie stars today and back then engage in, thrive on and die from.
The novel, which is divided up into acts and scenes as though it were a screenplay, takes a turn when Hazie and Katherine discover one of her suitors, Webster Carlton Westward III, is making a secret biography of Katherine’s life and the last chapter graphically depicts her death.
The two intercept each draft of the biography, and with it foil each new plot development, including deaths ranging from a lamp falling accidently into a bath to dismemberment at the hands (or rather, paws) of grizzly bears.
The plot twists and turns and in the end, leaving readers with their jaws on the floor. However, the novel starts off with a bang, and then creeps sluggishly. While satisfying in the end, the 179-page book could have been easily cut into a short story.
Fervent Palahniuk followers will recognize the graphic language he’s infamous for — where semen is referred to as “pearlescent globules of my adoration” — and sex scenes that make “2 Girls 1 Cup” look like “Sesame Street.”
As with most Palahniuk novels, the character’s redeeming qualities are far and few between. Just when humanity seems to shine through in Katherine, she lines children up for adoption, smelling them as she turns dozens of babies away. That is exactly the reason Palahniuk’s novels have been so refreshing — they are stark depictions of the dark, revolting side the human spirit. But when the same dark side is exposed over and over in the same way, it eventually loses its kick.
“Tell All” falls short of the punch of his classic works like “Fight Club” and “Survivor,” mostly because it draws from the same sentiments and character types. Hazie is a new copy of a character Palahniuk has used many times before: a “nobody” working behind the scenes to influence society. Katherine is an uninspiring puppet.
The bold printed names can be distracting at times, and they detract from the vivid and lurid prose the author is known and loved for.
“Tell All” is Chuck Palahniuk for the sake of Chuck Palahniuk. Had this been his debut novel, it is unlikely he would have the acclaim he has today. We get it, Chuck–people are inherently stupid, cruel and empty.
2 1/2 stars out of 5.
