Blow out your pumpkin patch-scented candle, destroy your slutty schoolgirl Halloween costume and spit out your apple cider, because fall is over for all you loyal David Archuleta fans. For everyone else, don’t destroy a thing, except maybe his newest bargain bin-worthy album, Christmas from the Heart.
Archuleta, season seven “American Idol” runner-up, attempts to fulfill his duty as holiday cheer rouser on his first Christmas album released Tuesday.
Ignoring the obvious mock-worthy, uninspired title, this album utterly fails to accomplish what holiday music lovers yearn, or at least hope for when seeing the sale of yet another Christmas album — that is, an attempt at even a degree of melodic originality on modern renditions of favored classics.
First of all, why is Archuleta already surrendering to the predicted pop-inspired holiday CD so soon after his successful self-titled debut album? Shouldn’t this cop-out be reserved for when he’s too lazy and uninventive to write or perform any new songs? Or when he’s fallen off our collective radar after the next inevitable “Idol” sensation?
Somewhat ambitiously, Archuleta sings three songs in Spanish, Latin and French. Although his Spanish “Ave Maria” and Latin “Riu Riu Chiu” are well suited to his Latin heritage, his French “Pat-A-Pan” only serves to highlight his poor French accent, resulting in a somewhat comical, up-tempo mistake.
But, perhaps the biggest hiccup on the album is the background instrumentals. They detract from Archuleta’s voice and sound more like the elementary beats you’d tap out on your beginners’ Yamaha piano keyboard.
Nonetheless, Archuleta admirers who treasure his established baby-face innocence and pious image will savor this album, as every ballad is carried by his clear, powerful and even sometimes over-performed voice that many of the devoted “Archie” fans have ceaselessly worshipped since his beginnings on “Idol.”
Particularly arresting are “Angels We Have Heard on High” and “Silent Night,” which delicately showcase his vast vocal range and soothing tone while also managing to stay true to the traditional essence of these songs.
A compelling yet completely unnecessary duet with Charice Pempengco, the Filipina singer who gained fame after receiving 13 million hits on YouTube, adds an interesting element of collaboration to “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.”
Although the sound on this track is, thankfully, more believable and not quite as desperate, it fails to measure against other timeless Christmas duets and would have been better left untouched.
Brace yourselves, though, because the final track, “Melodies of Christmas,” a new tune for the holiday season, proves the enduring truth that writing new Christmas songs is a task that many should never attempt in the music sphere.
The song, co-written by Archuleta, is regrettably drenched in the cheese factor of contemporary holiday tunes and has Archuleta ironically pointing out lyrically that this melody he’s crooning will never triumph like his predecessors: “There’s something about the melodies/ Of Santa Claus and Christmas trees/ Favorite songs of Nat and Bing/ Elvis, Josh, and Celine.”
Yes, there is something about these cherished “melodies,” something Nat and Bing got right the first time.
“Archies” can joyously begin sipping on eggnog, rocking around the Christmas tree and waiting for rosy-faced Saint Nick to sail through the starry night sky, while the rest of us can contently continue to plot our kick-ass costumes while munching on caramel apples.
2 stars out of 5.
