It’s not easy to be a homosexual these days. Maybe it’s never been easy, although they say those ancient Greeks really knew how to throw a party. But if there’s one group of people who can’t catch a break these days, it’s the gays.

Neither presidential candidate supported their desire to get married, California passed Proposition 8 and now Arkansas has gone one step further by voting in the Unmarried Couple Adoption Ban. Arkansas, the state President Eisenhower once sent the National Guard into so black students could go to public school, is passing laws limiting civil rights. I love progress.

The Unmarried Couple Adoption Ban states that, in order to adopt or become foster parents, prospective couples must be engaged in a “valid marriage.” But “valid marriage” is an oxymoron. Wayne Campbell once told Garth that marriage was “punishment for shoplifting in some countries.” The only thing valid or authentic about your parents’ relationship is the spousal hatred. And while many in the country truly believe in protecting the sanctity of marriage, can they say the same about the purity of adoption? There are too many kids who need a stable parenting presence in their lives in this country, and by limiting adoption to valid marriages, we’re damaging children, not protecting the country’s moral fiber.

This ban is a mess. Its overarching problem is the thinly veiled anti-gay rhetoric, but an almost bigger setback is its blind approval of “traditional” parenting. Britney Spears was straight and married, yet it didn’t stop her from being an epic failure as a mother ?– and a pop singer. There are plenty of people not actively involved in a “traditional” marriage, whether it’s due to divorce or personal choice, who serve as excellent parents. To prove my point, I give you two families:

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, in almost every film, have a non-existent mother. Instead, their ruggedly good-looking and independently wealthy father raises them. They do well in school, love their dad and are so ambitious they ultimately find him a new wife through billboard advertising. Despite not being raised in a “valid marriage,” they grow to be good people — in the movie.

Kevin McCallister has a mother, a father and a brother with a tarantula. He lives in a nice suburb of Chicago, and his family is so well off they’re going to spend Christmas in Paris. Kevin, however, never sees the Eiffel Tower because his “traditional” parents forget him at home. Way to go, “valid marriage.” Thank God Dad paid those migrants to build a tree house.

Adoption is not simply a smart alternative to parenting without stretch marks. It can take years and costs thousands of dollars to adopt a child, and the emotional price is often greater than the monetary one. People adopt because they love children, and because there are no shortage of children who are in need of a better life. No one fills out all that paperwork to undermine society, and yet some feel that’s exactly what will happen if we allow homosexuals to raise kids.

Parenting, whether it’s by adoption, foster care or nine months of pregnancy, follows a single goal: to raise good children and help give them a bright future. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation, and there is no evidence to suggest gay parents will raise an army of gay children. Straight parents seem to raise plenty of homosexual kids as it is, yet no one is condemning Dick Cheney’s fatherhood. These are not issues of family or children; these are issues of civil rights and fear, and they’re issues many thought ended in the 1960s.

An adopted friend of mine had the best take on the matter. Not a political person, when asked about the ban, he said, “Well that’s pretty gay.” He’s right. It’s totally “gay.” And I’m against it.

Sean Kittridge ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in journalism.