Eli Manning, despite his Biblical first name, never appeared to be a man of great destiny. Much to the contrary, he seemed to resemble the incarnation of Charlie Brown: always downtrodden, whiny and rarely doing the right thing with a football.

But fate took a hard right turn on Sunday, and what began as just another notch on the Eli Manning disappointment belt ended in a rare moment of achievement. For once, Lucy didn?t pull the ball away. And as Terry Bradshaw interviewed the younger Manning after the game, diligently working to avoid polysyllabic words, he handed the New York quarterback a tiny bonus for being named the game?s MVP: the keys to a hybrid Cadillac Escalade.

Professional athletes don?t need free cars. Besides, Escalades were made for Akon videos, and Eli Manning is more of a CMT kind of guy. But beyond the hypocrisy of the rich getting richer is the hypocrisy of the hybrid SUV. Nothing is more indicative of America?s inability to adopt serious environmental change than the inflexibility of the auto industry. From what I understand about hybrid vehicles, the idea behind this new Cadillac is not only to provide the same services as the old model, such as the ability to go places and indiscriminately use the OnStar button, but to do so in a much friendlier way to both the environment and the family checkbook. And even without the addition of the hybrid Escalade, I see plenty of vehicles adjusting to my criteria on the road every day. They?re called cars.

There is no negotiating with Mother Nature. While America tries to barter with the environment, the rest of the world is striving for tangible progress. Recently, the Chinese automaker BYD introduced a plug-in hybrid vehicle ready to hit the streets of Shanghai by the end of the year. With a selling price under $8,500 and easy overnight charging, it represents a sizable shift in the right direction. More importantly, BYD claims they have the ability to bring their hybrid to the U.S. by the year 2010. But this isn?t striking fear into the hearts of American automakers; instead, they too are looking at China and seeing a world of opportunity.

Because China is seen as a low-cost market, automakers have tailored to the needs of the average Chinese person by developing technology that is both efficient and affordable. There is no need for a hybrid Cadillac SUV in China because fewer people can afford it, and with 1.3 billion citizens, there isn?t much room to maneuver a bicycle, much less an Escalade.

The idea of America as a gluttonous nation can only be deemed an inaccurate stereotype once we commit to changing our habits.

There was a time when this nation was concerned with its energy use. The energy crisis of the 1970s saw the demise of the muscle car and the advent of the smaller, front-wheel drive vehicle. But in an attempt to restore the American ?spirit,? Ronald Reagan disregarded the lessons of the energy crisis and gave the people what they wanted ? big cars and smoky skylines. Today, the Charger is back on the road, and they?ll even put a Hemi in your Dodge Caravan if you?re willing to pay for it.

There is a great difference between actually caring about the environment and simply caring more than you did last year. This nation is under the impression that a small amount of change will go a long way, but we couldn?t be more wrong. The SUV will never be as fuel efficient as a mid-sized vehicle. And unless you?re a staunch Catholic or a serial killer, chances are you don?t need all that space. We need to stop patting ourselves on the back for finding an easy fix and let the global community kick us in the pants for copping out. Good grief.  

Sean Kittridge ([email protected]) is a sophomore majoring in journalism.