There is absolutely no better way to augment a University of Wisconsin education than by learning one of the 60 or so foreign languages this university offers. Landing a prestigious job, developing a worldly attitude and getting that attractive classmate in the sack suddenly become much easier with the help of UW's numerous introductory language courses. We have, hopefully, four years apiece to earn our undergraduate degrees; that should allow for plenty of time to fit in five or six semesters of an intriguing or useful second language. So why aren't we taking advantage of the gold mine of language resources we have here and now? It is regrettable that so many modern U.S. students leave the study of a second or third language on the bottom of their "to do" lists. The truth is any type of language from Java to Javanese requires daily focus and prolonged dedication to achieve fluency. Similar diligence is necessary for committing to a healthy diet and exercise program and for planning for retirement, two other areas in which the average American is failing miserably. Clearly, the current of social Darwinism in the business world favors those UW students with long-term planning skills. You've invested in your education; now is the time to devote 50 minutes a day to giving yourself an edge. Make the most of your countrymen's intellectual sloth! Someday, hypothetically, when your dreams of being an astronaut/rock star wither and die, most of you will end up working for "The Man." But you will thank your lucky stars you learned basic Hindi in college, because no one else at your company or government office did. Suddenly you'll find yourself at the head of some international division, making phone calls according to distant time zones and awaiting a cushy future in consultant work. Good job, future-you! However, until you take that first language course, your profitable future in selling MP3 players back to the country that manufactured them is just as impossible as your future of shredding "hot licks" in zero gravity. The UW is one of the best universities in the nation and can scrape up the 20 students a year necessary for an introductory Persian course. Just take a look at what our numerous language departments have to offer and decide for yourself. European and "classical" languages: Don't take them. Too many American students focus solely on this tiny chunk of Eurasia instead of taking German as a fun third language. Chances are you will use your knowledge of Greek or Italian on vacation and nowhere else. It may be entertaining to learn Norwegian so you can read the Bible verses cross-stitched on your grandma's throw pillows, but European students are no fools. They study English or French themselves in large numbers, preparing for the global economy. Much of Europe has become so acclimated to English-speaking tourists that Iceland Air flight attendants speak far better English than the Icelandic we learn through Icelandic Online. But the exception to this rule, for American students, is Spanish. Spanish: It's a category all by itself. Most of us will live out our lives in the United States, and despite the legislative efforts of some irate lawmakers, we will see a functionally bilingual nation in our lifetimes. Fortunately, many of us realize this fact and opt to learn Spanish, often continuing from high school studies. The business applications will be obvious, the education needs will be enormous and the voters will pick the candidate who can speak eloquently to all of his constituents. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if a few of the tech support jobs in Out-source-land, India started offering Spanish-language service. It is crucial to have such a marketable skill for any service job in the evolving United States. The top seven: Are you more interested in all things international? Even better. According to the Ethnologue's 2005 estimates, besides English and Spanish, there are seven languages on this planet with more than 100 million speakers: Mandarin, Arabic, Hindi, Portuguese, Bengali, Russian and Japanese. Except for Bengali, there are introductory courses in all of these languages at UW this semester. One third of the world speaks these languages, and consequently their diplomatic and professional uses are truly countless. Take the plunge and become the next James Bond… or perhaps his commodities-trading younger brother, Roger. Obscure languages and more: The perks of taking lesser-known languages tend to be more valuable in the eye of the beholder than in the global economy. Some modern linguists study dying languages like Haida and Dakota to help preserve a culture. Some study certain languages — notably Arabic, Korean, Mandarin, Persian, Punjabi, Russian, or Urdu — for government security purposes. Some sign up for the Peace Corps and go wherever the wind blows them. If you develop a true passion for speaking Swahili or Tibetan, don't even worry about its applications beyond academia. Just know that, in a few short semesters, UW can help get you there. Carla Dogan ([email protected]) is a junior majoring in economics.