Hagstrom

This summer ESPN came out with the "Who's Now?" series to look at some of the most successful athletes in all of professional sports to determine which athlete is the ultimate sports star.

"On-field success and off-field buzz," says the tagline associated with the show.

While the winner will either be LeBron James or Tiger Woods, I found it quite offensive that ESPN neglected to insert the real ultimate sports star into the fray — I'm talking about none other than former Minnesota Gophers head coach Glen Mason.

Sure he hasn't played since… well, really ever, seeing how he was behind even the water boy on Ohio State's depth chart. However, you must realize that by never playing, Mason was able to keep his teeth in gameday form.

As for his off-field buzz, the sanguine Mason, I'm pretty sure, is a swarm of bees — he's got bite… er, sting. Mason, with his paper white hair and steamed lobster tail face from too many sleepless days out under the hot Minnesota sun, was the center of attention at the 36th annual Big Ten Conference Media Day July 30 through Aug. 1. He just didn't stop talking. And no one seemed to want to stop listening.

But I'll let you in on a little secret (shhh): They weren't really listening, choosing instead to admire Mason's sparkling white grill.

Ironically enough, his teeth have had more success lighting up the football field than he had as a player or coach;

Not once did he lead the Gophers to a top three finish, and throughout his tenure, you could be certain that every time Minnesota held a sizeable lead, like the 31-point third-quarter lead against Texas Tech in last year's Insight Bowl, odds were that Mason and his boys were going to discover an unthinkable way to blow it.

Backed by his pearly whites and notorious propensity to overextend his stay, Mason is the ultimate sports star.

Point: Mason

Voelkel

When trying to decide who the most "now" person in sports is, it is important to look past the obvious selections. Just like true beauty is more than skin-deep, now-ness is also much more than pearly-white teeth and a deep Arizona tan.

Now-ness is also more than hot cars and fast women.

Now-ness is all about connecting with the people, being a larger-than-life figure and the one person the American sports fan can really identify with.

That's why the most now person in sports today is… Rick Majerus.

Think about it, if you didn't know who he was and met him in a hotel lobby, you would think Majerus was a regular Anyman.

Just like 66 percent of Americans, Majerus is overweight. Actually obese is probably more like it.

He's also got a thing for fast food, and has been heard extolling the virtues of KFC, brats and probably anything else fried during basketball telecasts he did for ESPN.

So what if he might not have pronounced every name correctly or been able to complete entire sentences without running out of breath? The man knows a good pastry when he sees one, and that's something that just can't be quantified by dating models or huge endorsement deals.

And how do you think ESPN execs became enlightened to the whole concept of being "now"? Clearly after losing Majerus, the network had a huge coolness void that could only be filled by running down a long list of athletes who paled in comparison to the great Majerus.

Glen Mason? Are you serious? The only time he was ever remotely now was… wait, never. He had so little to do that he was hanging around Big Ten Media Day just to snack on the free fun size candy bars. That's not now, that's lame.

Majerus. Count it!