Everyone goes through them. They help shape us as individuals. They might be a passing phase, an indication of what we're to become or they could be our defining characteristic. What am I talking about, you may ask? Stages. I'm not talking about the goth/emo/hippie "I want to be different" stage we went through in high school, but rather the sexual stages that we have gone and will continue to go through the for rest of our sexually active lives. It's likely that you've already gone through many of these cycles. You may be fixed in one stage for a relatively long time, and then coast right through another one. Either way, it's helpful to understand and recognize when your sexual tastes start to evolve. Let's begin. There is a starting and ending point, each a polar opposite of the other, with possible intermediaries that complete one sex cycle. Keep in mind that you may start out at either one of the major stages; depending on how your life is going, they will show up in an appropriate fashion. Flipping a coin decided that I'm going to start out by talking about the so-called "Slut Stage." Many guys and girls have most likely gone through at least one Slut Stage already, and that stage will likely recur at times throughout adulthood. The Slut Stage is characterized by promiscuous behavior, rowdy weekends and multiple playmates. People in this stage exhibit uncontrollable urges to get it on with whomever they please, and they will not be content until it happens. Once you've become a keen player in the Slut Stage, you can then feel free to open up the "Hotel (insert your name)." You will then be able to allow guests to check into your hotel and give them all the all-inclusive benefits. However, once you feel that the guests have overstayed their welcome at the hotel, you may then decide to put your entrepreneurial investments towards "Day Spa (insert your name)." The Day Spa is a synonym for casual dating; basically, you're less promiscuous, and the guests are around longer, and the relationship will be more than just sex. After the Spa is in business and you've established a regular customer, a relationship will then follow. This is one potential ending for a sex cycle. The other route is slightly different. The hotel business may be booming for a while, but eventually one too many guests will trash one of the suites, and you will be so fed up that you hastily decide to close down. Once this happens, you've entered the Dry Stage. The Dry Stage — both literally and figuratively — is a time where both you and your sex life stay unsatisfied. A Dry Stage is more specific than just a stage where you don't have any sex; you're not having any sex voluntarily. You don't always transition into the Dry Stage as turbulently as in the aforementioned example. Sometimes the Slut Stage just gets old — our escapades become all too routine. However, in many cases the Dry Stage commences because of a sudden epiphany. Suddenly, a person may realize that he or she may be spreading a little too much love around campus and then decides to slow it down a little. Dry Stages don't need to be Dull Stages — quite the contrary, actually. This is the time when going out is all about having fun with your friends, not merely to find someone to hook up with. The pressure's off, and the carefree times are bountiful. However, given the way the world works, nothing lasts forever. Inevitably you will blossom out of your Dry Stage and ease back into the Slut Stage. There are sub-stages that you may go through as well. These phases usually happen a lot less often than the above stages, but they are still quite important. For example: the Peculiar Attraction Stage. This stage is self-explanatory; you are attracted to people who you normally don't usually fancy. Let's say you love tall, light-eyed brunettes who know how to dress. If you were in this stage, a grungy blond, musician-type might become vogue in your opinion. This stage can turn out to have happy endings. In most cases, a relationship that comes out of this stage will be sort of "opposites attract" because you two are likely to have polar differences from each other. Also important is the Bi-curious Stage. Let's say one too many guys pissed you off. You vow to yourself that you will never date a chauvinistic, insensitive guy ever again. Then, you see this amazingly sexy girl walk by and you are more than a little attracted to her. The Bi-Curious Stage allows one to experiment a little and decide which team he or she likes better. Your participation in this stage is by no means permanent. Sometimes we can't help whom we're attracted to, and it is lamentable if we don't follow through and explore that option. Look at Anne Heche. She dabbled on the lesbian side for a while, but she eventually came back. She is now worldlier because of her experimentation. So, there you have it; the most common sex stages that occur. Remember, a lot of these stages may develop unconsciously and you can't control them. But hey, they can also be prompted by a particular event or feeling. Either way, embrace them because they will help on your quest for sexual nirvana. Jenny Kalaidis is a freshman majoring in communication arts and journalism. Stuck in a sexual stage rut? Send questions and comments to [email protected].
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Sexual stages come full circle
April 11, 2007
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