With finals approaching faster than most of us care to admit, we all have a lot on our minds — readings to finish, papers to write, winter break plans … the list goes on and on. There doesn't seem to be enough time to get everything done. In a few weeks, though, many of the problems causing all this stress will be gone as soon as we take our last final exam. The stress is temporary, and the problems will go away. Very few things in life are truly permanent, and every problem has a resolution.

For one of my friends, however, her problems are set in stone. She decided to take her own life after Thanksgiving.

Without going into the details of her life or death, my friend decided that life was too much for her. Throughout her life, she dealt with more than any one person should have to endure. Despite all of this, it was a great shock to all of us — loved ones, friends and coworkers — when she decided to commit suicide.

We all have problems, and often it seems that our problems run our lives. When I was in the Army, I constantly had to worry about those under me, always ready for that inevitable deployment, promotion and transfer. When I was deployed to Iraq and Kosovo, I had all of these problems along with planning out the next few days' missions, ensuring that everyone was coming back alive and healthy, missing my family and making sure that I put on the proper façade when dealing with my soldiers' problems.

Coming back to college, there has been less stress compared to a combat zone, but the stress can be just as challenging. There are always midterms or exams around the corner. There is always that paper that is due too soon. There are friendships to maintain. Relationships may be going nowhere fast. There are always the questions of money and what the future holds after college… and grad school, interviews and the GRE or LSAT or MCAT… and paying rent… and finding roommates for next year… and planning a trip for Winter or Spring Break… and family problems … and that is before you even go to class. Just writing about some of these problems has raised my anxiety level.

Whether we are in the military, college or working in the "real world," there are concerns, worries and problems. Some may seem minor (such as a cell phone bill), and some may be life-changing (such as taking that leap of faith into life outside of a classroom). Some problems are not easy to resolve: running out of money to pay for next semester, relationships gone bad, a death in the family or even worse. These types of problems will not solve themselves, and often, the solutions are not easy and may take more than a day to work through.

All of these problems, however, have a solution. Money problems can be solved eventually. The pain of a breakup will subside. Stress from exams will go away when you turn in the blue book. Finding a job will happen eventually. There are services and groups to help with every problem and to find an eventual solution to these problems or any other issue in life.

We have all received some training in suicide prevention, and one of the major themes is always that "suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem." To be honest, I always rolled my eyes when I heard this. Talking on the phone with my friends, we realized that now there is no way to solve whatever troubled my friend so much that she decided to take her life. I have spent quite a few sleepless hours trying to find out a solution, but nothing is going to bring her back. Suicide truly is permanent.

For all of us, there is someone — a friend, brother, sister, parent, loved one, counselor or caring person — who can help us solve our problems, even if that means just lending an ear to let you vent your frustrations. They truly can help with a problem that, while daunting right now, can be solved. Solving these overwhelming problems — choosing a major, getting finances in order, doing well in class, deciding to ask someone to spend the rest of his or her life with you, getting that perfect job — are how we grow as human beings and become stronger people. Suicide, however, takes away that opportunity.

Jeff Carnes ([email protected]) is a senior majoring in linguistics.