In response to “Students must show they care” by Steven Grant:

Oh my gosh, I’m having a panic attack. What if congress is run by Nancy Pelosi and all sorts of whacko liberals? They’ll start passing all sorts of crazy laws where everyone has to have at least one abortion, the military will be dismantled, and our children will have to be raised as homosexuals. This is the worst possible scenario… the terrorists are going to win.

In response to “Little love to be found in those craving power” by Bassey Etim:

After every 30 second political ad, the candidate has to give a blurb about how he approved the preceding message. I wonder, for the sake of the religious “value voters” out there, if Jesus would approve of the messages? Give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar (does not translate to tax cuts). Love thy neighbor (just not the gay ones or the ones faking their Parkinson’s disease symptoms). Candidate X never prosecuted a single crime (but Pontius Pilot did). The first shall be last and the last shall be first (except when we’re talking about the sick, old, hungry, or uneducated). It sounds to me like Jesus was the first Liberal.

In response to “Court weighs culture, law” by Robert Phansalkar:

I suppose they do use the Bible to argue their belief as well, but ahem, since when was it proven that God does or does not exist? Why should one book, translated many times throughout history, be the rule we follow, when in fact, contradictions exist within it. E.

In response to “Adult diapers for Democrats only” by Will Smith:

Forgive us, George, for ever doubting you. We’ll re-elect your disciples next Tuesday. Clap your hands, brothers and sisters, give an amen and sing along with the chorus: Stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, stay the course, stay the course with me…

In response to “Bush opposition needs backbone” by Mike Skelly:

Yeah i smell you, take a shower hippie.

In response to “AG must promote Wisconsin values” by Kathleen Falk:

Yes, we get it, Van Hollen is a douche. The Badger Herald endorsed you yesterday.

In response to “Ban displays public resolve” by LaVonne Derksen:

If anyone’s marriage is harmed by who someone else is married to, then their marriage is not that strong. A marriage should mean nothing to anyone but the two people married to each other. If your marriage is demeaned by what someone else does, says, or who they love then you are indeed in a sad and empty marriage.

In response to “If at first you don’t succeed…” by The Badger Herald Editoral Board:

Badger Herald, I love your paper, but I’m sick of you reporting so negatively about ASM. ASM leaders work extremely hard – could you write an article about the good work they are doing?

In response to “Greeks’ plan ill-advised” by Emily Friedman:

This plan is ill-advised because the criminals will just hide inside of a giant Ugg in the middle of Langdon, be brought inside the sorority house by the neighborhood watch, and then loot and pillage to their heart’s content.