In the midst of a defining moment in American politics, Donald Trump, reality-show star, business mogul and world-renowned asshole, has pocketed more than 600 delegates and is well on the way to earning the GOP nomination this spring.

Aside from going to war and thinking everyone speaks English, the one thing you can count on Americans to do is react to every impeding reality by boldly asserting they’re moving to Canada.

So in the spirit on mass migration, The Badger Herald gathered a list of our top suggestions for escape so you can begin gathering supplies. Like bathroom plungers and STI screenings, don’t wait until you need them to get them.

1. Projectile catapult No required explosives? Ballistic and effective all at once? Set up shop in Bayfield, Wisconsin, and careen across Lake Superior just in time for Trump to pick up another few dozen delegates. With a crafty enough catapult, you’ll hurl yourself into Canada before he has the time to say, “I am a horrible, bigoted man with no redeeming qualities whatsoever, and I have no idea how I got here.”
2. Hot air balloon If you can manage to scavenge whatever hot air is left in the U.S. outside of Trump’s skull, a hot air balloon will provide a calm and tranquil environment from which you can look down and watch as your beloved home country erupts into a flaming shitstorm.
3. Slingshot All the fun of a catapult, but pocket-sized for your convenience. This hand-powered projectile weapon guarantees speed and accuracy. If you’re up for the venture to Grand Marais, Minnesota, situate yourself within 50 feet of the Canadian border and have a trusted friend fling you into safe haven. 
4. Ride a moose, rattlesnake or your neighbor Greg Saddle up! If you’re not one for adventure, but also not one for xenophobia, dismantled foreign relations and a crumbling economy, this is the transport for you. Moose are known for viciously attacking creatures that are dissimilar to them, snakes are slimy killers and your neighbor Greg has been known to holler pretty loud. But hey, none of those are as bad as Trump — he’s all three.
5. Leprechaun-pulled sled Happy St. Patrick’s Day! With green beer as fuel and Canada as your pot of gold, even Trump can’t strip you of your luck today. Unless you aren’t Irish or European — in which case the clock is already ticking as your eventual deportation date approaches — you may as well wait for the free trip out.
6. Dig a hole Start in Superior, Wisconsin. Dig west until you hit Duluth, Minnesota and then it’s a steady track north. Pack trail mix and dry shampoo. Say hi to Jeb Bush, Marco Rubio and Edward Snowden when you inevitably run into them on the journey.
7. Click your heels together three times and say “oh Canada, oh Canada” What better way to escape the Wicked Witch of the West (also the East, North and South)? Like Oz, Trump is no more than a tiny little man with a deafening voice and mammoth face. But until he’s exposed for what he really is — and he will be — let’s get the hell out of here.